Sinister: so you've never played duck duck goose before?

Kieran Devaney antipopconsortium at xxx.com
Sat Jun 29 18:25:40 BST 2002


Dear Sinister,

The people across the road are gardening. Not the ones with no plantlife in 
their front garden (I think I’ve mentioned this before, they stripped it 
completely bare two summers ago and have left it like that since. I blame 
the dad of the family, who can sometimes be seen standing just outside his 
front gate watching the sky turn from grey to orange, as if thinking 
“Neither flora nor fauna shall pass my steely gaze – nature was mine to 
conquer, and conquered her I have!”), but the other ones, the ones that 
don’t have a back garden, just a back yard. I’ve been bowling, but I didn’t 
win. We played with the bumpers up, so you aren’t supposed to be able to get 
the ball into there, but I managed that a couple of times anyway. However, 
I’m not here to talk about mindless pedestrian dross like bowling or 
gardening, oh no. Instead I am both proud and excited to present:

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO DUCK DUCK GOOSE version 1.0

INTRODUCTION

Although association football may have surpassed duck duck goose as our 
nation’s favourite pastime, this most noble of sports still has a place in 
the hearts and minds of young and old and is still practiced regularly in 
parks, playgrounds, gymnasiums and clubhouses across the land. Regarding why 
the sport seems to have fallen out of favour with the mainstream media is a 
question to wide and contentious to address properly here, but suffice to 
say that there are far more people playing duck duck goose than you are 
likely to hear about on the six o’clock news. But I’m getting ahead of 
myself since this guide should serve newcomers to the sport as well as 
seasoned professionals, and so I shall begin by giving an overview on the 
game, and talk a little about its history and the benefits of playing. Duck 
duck goose was founded in 1721 in the little village of Truro in Cornwall, 
which lies on the south coast of England. Credit for the invention of the 
game is a much-debated subject, with most people being of the belief that it 
was first played under the guidance of J. William Blaverstock on Truro 
village green, and the event is recorded in his diary entry for the 7th July 
1721:
“…when I chanced upon an idea for a new gamme, which we sette about playing 
on the greene for severel hours. I call the gamme ‘duck duck duck goose’ and 
much frivolity ensused when the gamme was struck up…”
The extra ‘duck’ in the sport’s name was eventually dropped in 1863 at the 
behest of Mallard Cookson, chairman of the Professional Association of Duck 
Duck Duck Goose Players of England at the time, of course this change lead 
to a change in the name of the association as well, and the game has 
remained unchanged ever since. That Blaverstock was at the first game of 
duck duck goose is not questioned, but doubts have been cast over whether he 
did, in fact, invent the game, and various other accounts point to Rev. 
Patrick Monahan as the creator. Those interested in pursuing this debate 
will be pleased to know that a lengthy article can be found on our website 
http://www.duckduckgooseassociation.org/media/blaverstock.html

Duck duck goose is a game like no other on Earth. It requires skill, 
strategy, fitness, poise and sportsmanship in healthy doses to be 
successful, and yet even the most unskilled can, and indeed are encouraged 
to participate. It is an easy game to learn, and can be played at all 
levels, but to master it takes years of dedication – just ask Pierre 
Dutronc, current world champion:
“I started playing when I was just six years old, but something about the 
game made me keep coming back – and when I learned of the professional 
leagues, nothing could hold me back. I played every day, kept on training 
and after many years I became champion. It was the best day of my life, and 
I hope I can repeat it next year.”

HOW TO PLAY

Duck duck goose is one of the most versatile sports on the planet, since it 
does not require a specific number of people, nor a specific playing area, 
neither does it require special equipment or clothing, but specialist duck 
duck goose shoes, hats and protective guards are available from most good 
sports shops, or via our website. However, there are a few guidelines you 
should follow to ensure a successful game. Firstly, having the right amount 
of players is essential – debates have raged on for years over the optimum 
number for a game, and current tournaments generally play with 23 players, 
but we suggest playing with somewhere between 10 and 40 participants. Less 
than ten and the game becomes repetitive and tiring, more than forty and it 
becomes unwieldy and people get left out. Anyone, young or old can play, and 
mixed games are also not unknown, so the makeup of your group is entirely up 
to you. Once you have your group together, then finding the right surface to 
play on is also imperative – duck duck goose clubs will often have their own 
specially constructed pitches, but accessing these is not always practical 
and so we suggest an even surface that isn’t too slippery, but which is also 
large enough to comfortably accommodate your game – I’ve heard too many 
stories of serious accidents and even deaths resulting from playing in 
overly tight areas, so be careful and choose wisely.

Once you have your group together, and have found a surface then you’re 
ready to start playing! Arrange yourselves into a rough circle and sit down 
– try to intersperse more athletic or experienced players evenly around the 
circle to that the talent is fairly distributed, nothing is more 
disheartening than rivalries resulting from an unbalanced circle. When this 
is done a starting player must be chosen – often someone will volunteer, but 
if there is more than one volunteer, or none at all then a player must be 
chosen at random. We suggest picking numbers, dice or drawing straws, though 
association accredited duck duck goose official spinners are available from 
our website. The chosen player then stands up and the circle tightens to 
fill up the space they have vacated. He or she then commences a 
circumnavigation of the playing area (tournament play is anti-clockwise, but 
for non official games, then either direction is fine. But bear in mind that 
once a game starts the direction of flow CANNOT be changed – committing this 
offence whether by accident or intentionally results in immediate 
disqualification from the game). The player touches the head of each member 
of the circle as they pass, saying either “duck” or “goose”. If “duck” is 
chosen then the player carries on around the circle until they choose 
someone as the goose. When “goose” is said, the player immediately starts 
running around the circle, in an attempt to complete one full circuit, at 
which point they sit down in the place of the goose, whose task it is to 
rise from their place in the circle and chase the player. If the player is 
caught in this chase then they must continue being the player, and the game 
starts again. However, if the player completes the circuit and successfully 
takes the goose’s place in the circle, then the goose adopts the role of the 
player and the game restarts like that, and continues thusly.

The amount of time that a game should take is another contentious issue, and 
current championship games consist of two halves of twenty minutes each, the 
makeup of the circle is changed completely for the second half. More casual 
games can be ended whenever the players wish, and do not necessarily have to 
stop if one or more players wishes to retire. As I type this the Grimsby 
duck duck goose club are attempting to get into the record books by playing 
the longest continuous game of duck duck goose ever – at the moment they’ve 
been playing for a year and ten minutes, but they still have a long way to 
go to be the Reykjavik club’s long standing current record of four years, 
seven months, one week, two days, eight hours, twenty three minutes and 
sixteen seconds.

The beauty of duck duck goose is that there are no winners or losers, and 
everyone gets something from the game, whether it’s the glory of having the 
most catches or successful runs, or just the unsurpassed sense of community 
and brotherhood that playing can bring. I’ve heard tell of dozens of 
marriages that have started with a simple game of duck duck goose, long lost 
siblings who have met at clubs and whole hosts of friends brought together 
at clubs and games for the benefit of all. The power of the game was 
celebrated by Japanese poet Basho Matsuo in haiku form, the original copy of 
which is now framed and hung in the great hall at the Duck duck goose 
association building in London:
Balance looks eastward
The children play duck duck goose
Tea swirls in its cup

STRATEGY

Although duck duck goose can naively be seen as a purely physical game, a 
newcomer to the sport will often be daunted by the complex strategies 
employed by experienced players to outwit his or her opponents. This short, 
and by no means comprehensive strategy guide is intended to help beginners 
with their game, though it is advised that you play a few games before 
reading to get a feel for the game, so that these strategies do not cloud 
your playing.

1.	The Speedy Goose

When your turn comes around, most people will settle back as you start your 
circumnavigation thinking you’ll do at least one full circuit to size up 
each player. However, if you’re confident enough, calling ‘goose’ very early 
on in your round, even on the first person you come to can be an excellent 
surprise tactic which should give you a good headstart for your run.

2.	The Sleeping Goose

The opposite of the above tactic, while most championship games impose a 
three-minute time limit on each player’s round, for more casual games you 
can spend even longer going around the circle, until everyone is quite bored 
with you and has become quite lethargic, then you strike! It will take your 
goose some seconds to recover from their drowsiness, by which time you 
should already be halfway back round. Time limits were introduced to the 
game in 1931, when Russian player Sergi Yevkenov spent a little over eight 
hours going round the circle, his chosen goose had fallen asleep by this 
time, and did not even get up or give chase – an offence which saw him being 
disqualified from the game, and Yevkenov becoming Russia’s only World 
Champion to date. Another advantage of this tactic is that it allows you 
time to recover energy after running.

3.	The Double Goose Return

When you’re the player, if you have previously given chase and failed, or 
been caught by faster sprinters, but think you have better stamina it is 
often a good tactic to pick the person who chose you as goose, or who caught 
you previously again a second time. They will be as tired as you are after 
the run, putting you on a relatively level setting and you stand a better 
chance of evading them. Repeatedly picking the same player even if you keep 
getting caught is not very sporting, although it can be an amusing tactic, 
and often will force the goose into submission, though don’t be surprised if 
someone beaten by this tactic then starts employing it on you when they’re 
the player. A tactic to be employed sparingly since it works only at the 
exclusion of the rest of the group.

4.	The Weakened Goose

Any savvy player will know at least a little about all their opponents 
before entering a game, and while picking the slowest player during your 
turn will not present much of a challenge for you it will greatly increase 
you chances of re-entering the circle. Fat or weak players are essential to 
any game, for a floundering or tired player to have a rest, and they can 
later be ‘let win’ so that more skilled players can enter the game. A word 
of advice: try not to play with people who are all faster and better than 
you or you will end up as the weakened goose, or ‘runt’ as they are known in 
professional circles. Also, try not to make it too obvious who is the runt 
of the game, since them knowing is often conducive to them not playing.

CONCLUSION

I’d like first to thank everyone who helped me with this guide, or 
contributed to it in any way, especially the fine people who run our website
http://www.duckduckgooseassociation.org I hope it will encourage more of you 
to take up duck duck goose, either as a casual hobby or something more 
serious (though as many of our regulars will tell you, one can quite quickly 
develop into the other!). Much more information, as well as fixture lists, 
articles, videos and pictures as well as a full product range can be found 
on our website, and lively discussion forums ensure there is always 
something to go back for. You can also find a list of clubs in your area on 
the site, and how to join – and if there isn’t a club nearby, why not start 
one? We can offer advice and guidance on starting and running your club, and 
on the more practical side of duck duck goose such as finding players, 
arranging tournaments and advertising. All that remains to be said is good 
luck with your games of duck duck goose, and who knows, maybe we’ll be 
hearing from you soon!

Best Wishes,
Kieran Devaney (Chairman of the Duck Duck Goose Players of England)

p.s. The first person to say something about 'having too much time on your 
hands' will get a furrowed brow in their direction. 10p if anyone can spot 
two (or possibly more) factual errors in the guide.





_________________________________________________________________
Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+



More information about the Sinister mailing list