Sinister: ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strange...

[frith on the hills]

as of late, i've been really wanting a change of pace. i want out of the 
rain, the miserable, god-forsaken rain that overcasts the northwestern 
united states. lately, all i think about is getting out of here. i love my 
friends here, i love the music here, i love the city, in fact, but i want 
sun and fun and i want good texas-style barbeque. i think austin, texas 
sounds like a nice place to be. maybe i'm all wrong about that, but frankly, 
portland is dismal these days. there just ain't no work to be had in this 
lumberjack town, and there's too much stimuli to go around not working. the 
routine gets boring, actually. get up, go to school, come home... and that's 
if i have school that day. after 'come home', it's anything goes. but 
anything and everything that i ever seem to do seems to always involve going 
out and spending money i don't have, and jobs are a hot commodity here these 
days. so that's a part of it. no work makes jack a broke boy, or me as the 
case may be (since my name ain't jack). it's almost funny to me to be 
posting on this list since i hardly listen to twee or indiepop stuff much at 
all anymore, but the ol' b&s still do have a place in my cold, cold heart i 
must say. okay, it's not all that cold, and as far as i'm concerned, if you 
aren't all jaded anyhow, and you listen to b&s, something is wrong with that 
picture. but indiepop in general is a little too, how might i say this, 
trite for the most part. i can't get past all these bands out there trying 
so hard to be cutesy and cuddly and denying any real human emotion or angst 
or frustration or whatever. and being unemployed and bored will give you 
lots of that. so i listen to metal, goth, new wave, hardcore punk and garage 
for the most part these days. quite a change from anything anyone whose 
known me over the years would've ever expected. but that's me, full of 
surprises. what prompted me to write to this list was actually nostalgia. i 
was remembering back when i was little i got myself this book in the mail on 
my birthday. it had all these colorful, animated characters: circus clowns, 
talking animals, balloons, fancy-schmacy stuff that little kids seem to 
like. the whole book was about me! it was about me and my birthday, it even 
had my name in it, and the little boy that was the main character was me, 
too! it took me many years before i learned the truth, that indeed it was a 
gimmick my mom sent off for and basically a really expensive birthday card. 
but the point was how damn cool that thing was. it's not even my birthday 
for a while, so i don't even know what made me think of it again, but i long 
for that kind of magic in my life. to feel like somehow i'm really important 
and whatever i do is equally important. i think maybe texas is the answer? 
hrmmm, maybe not but it's certainly a change. see, you kids down there have 
so much beautiful art circulating throughout your lone star state, and 
you're sorta smack dab in the middle of everything. i don't even know if UT 
is really all that great of a grad school for an art historian like myself, 
but it can't be all that bad. and if i was once again fired up about my 
passions (as my current school has more than doubly dulled my interests in 
them) i think i'd feel that sense of self-importance effervescing once again 
from deep within my soul. i think also i was prompted to write today because 
last night was truly the first indiepop show i'd attended since probably 
last september. dressy bessy came to town with a texas band of all things 
(the deathray davies, who are not indiepop but are indeed very good) and i 
was quite pleased to see them in spite of how cute their schtick is. so i 
guess that makes me a hypocrite, but i'm okay with that. a little bit of an 
oxymoronic, idiosyncratic personality complex isn't the worst thing a person 
could be afflicted with. i tell ya', too much free time really is the 
devil's work; it makes you really question everything, and frankly at 25 i 
feel too damn old to be in such a state of flux. don't most people get to 
some point eventually where they feel comfortable with where they're at? i 
just don't think portland, oregon was ever my last stop on the way in 
life... but unfortunately, i think i'll be here for some time longer. i've 
got that travel bug and it's an itch you just can't scratch with imagination 
alone. are there any french or german sinisterines? you'd be really nice to 
know because at least then i'd have a reason to speak all this french and 
german i've taken the time in my life to learn. oh, to travel to places 
yonder... also, am i the only one in the world who's come to that 
realization that rawk is much more fun? i have to say that the legal man ep 
is still my favorite. b&s do know how to rawk!
chris

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