Sinister: ...and in second place...

[robin stout]

I bet on Rhinestone Cowboy to win and he came SECOND! Grrr! Carsmile, you'll 
pay for this!

I've begun to take French lessons so yesterday I went into town to buy a 
French-English Dictionary. When I got home I pulled open the pages excitedly 
and began looking up stupid words like combine harvester*! Then I turned to 
the French section to look up a word beginning with L. But L didn't exist! 
The dictionary went straight from I to M; from page 144 to 177. Quelle 
horreur! I was shocked, no, gutted! Le dictionaire, c'est bollocks!

Well, I've decided to write a letter of complaint about it to Collins, to 
see if I can get some free books from them. I complained to Usborne books 
when I was little about a code in the "Good Spy Guide to Codes and Ciphers" 
which I spent a week trying to decipher before realising it was nonsense. 
They sent back a letter of apology and a yellow balloon with a hole in it.

So here's my letter of complaint. It’s designed to make Collins feel guilty 
and give me free things. Do you think I should send it?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Mr Collins

I am 12 years old and have just begun French lessons at school. Our teacher 
Miss Glum told us we must buy a French dictionary so we could look up words. 
Today we had a lesson on how to use your dictionary and Miss Glum told me to 
look up the word Jambon. When I looked in my dictionary I looked for J but 
it wasn’t there. The dictionary went straight from I to M. There weren’t any 
Js Ks or Ls (I DO know my alphabet). I told the teacher but she thought I 
was making fun of her and made me see the headmaster. He made me stand by a 
tree with a book on my head for half an hour. I almost cried then, but if I 
did the book would have fallen off and he would have hit me. I cried when I 
got home though. I don’t ever want to go to school again! I hate Miss Glum! 
I hate you too and your stupid dictionary!


Robin (age 12)


PS: Jambon is Ham, by the way, my dad told me that tonight, but its too late 
now, isn’t it???!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Do you think sending this letter would be BAD? I want to get as many free 
things as I can but I don’t want any teachers being sacked. Hmm. Suggestions 
would be welcome.


Robin (age 23)

*un moissoneuse-batteuse

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