Sinister: Jason's visit to New York, in bullet point format. Be annoyed... be very annoyed...

[Jason Andreas]

What I Did On My Holidays by Jason Andreas, class 2b.

I stayed in the Metropolitan Hotel on 51st and Lexington.

I wandered casually into Harlem, only realising where I was when I saw
someone pull an uzi on someone else. Then I left rather rapidly.

Went to WWF New York to watch RAW, Backlash and RAW again.

Sat next to a man wearing a chicken suit while I was wearing my kilt. People
were asking if we were some sort of double-act...

Was not allowed inside the UN Building when I kept setting off the metal
detector, even though they couldn't figure out why. I went in the next day
though.

Hung around in Toys R Us in Times Square, and had a lightsabre duel with one
of the staff. I won, of course ;)

Got my picture taken by a couple of rather stunning Japanese girls. They
giggled a lot. Hee hee, etc.

Had to put on a pseudo-American accent to deal with some of the cab drivers.

Bumped into Steven Tyler outside the MTV studios. Got screamed at by lots of
girls because they assumed I was someone connected with the band because I'd
managed to aimlessly wander behind the security barrier.

Met Frank Langella, who once played Dracula. My mum was seeing him in a
Broadway show. We (Me, my mum, my sister, 3 of my mum's friends and Frank)
went to an Italian restaurant, but thankfully Frank didn't stay long.

Was asked if I wanted "some company" by a prostitute. I told her "No, I'm
looking for sex, actually..." and walked on.

Called an engineer after my mum managed to flood the hotel toilet somehow.
D'oh!

Went shopping in Bloomingdales, Macys, Saks and Madison Square Garden.

Navigated the NY Subway system after a few false starts. Didn't get mugged.

Went to Ground Zero. Was disgusted by the amount of "I saw Ground Zero"
t-shirts on sale in little stalls. Even more disgusted by the loonies posing
in front of it with big grins on their faces. Eedjits. I left a bracelet.

Went to the Smithsonian institute and bought a book on Native American
mythology. Nice :) The museum itself was pretty crappy though, it was more
"Look at how the white men tamed the savages!" than any celebration of their
actual culture.

Bought 13 CDs, a Yankees top, a Spiderman top, a Transformers top, a Jets
jersey, a WWF top, my Hard Rock Cafe leather jacket ($300 after tax!) and a
What? t-shirt.

Maxed out my credit card buying gifts for various friends. Expensive
buggers.

Watched the Celtic v Rangers game in the Manhattan Celtic Supporters Club.
Thanks to Jen Brownlie for supplying me the address of them.

Went to see the Scorpion King.

Wandered Central Park. Didn't get mugged. Visited the zoo there, which was
cool. Still didn't get mugged.

Went to see the Super Furry Animals in concert at the Irving Plaza. Rawk!

Had a woman flash a boob at me to display a tattoo she had...

Helped a lost damsel in distress. Didn't try to pull her either, so don't
look at me like that!

Went to a jazz club. Grrreat.

Bought a Belle & Sebastian album for a girl I... well, y'know.

Drank about 30 litres of Root Beer. Ate my first pretzel (the big dough
ones, not the crappy wee twiglet-like things).

Visited Madame Tussauds.

Took about 20 pictures in total, almost all of which were of things in
Madame Tussauds.

Came home.

Got jetlagged.

Continued to be jetlagged.

Annoyed you with this e-mail...

- Jase

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