Sinister: expectations confirmed

[Bron]

the dishes overwhelm the sink from last night's 
cooking endeavor, his mostly drunk second glass 
of wine rests beside this computer screen, the 
map of the this weekend's backpacking trail and 
a bike reflector we found in the next city, his 
smiling photos, my book on zen lying on the 
floor last read by his bright brown eyes---those 
eyes that reached down into the pools of my blue 
soul, the rain song that shall forever dance in 
my head and remind me of the fire we built and 
the hammock we laid in, the sun-crackled 
mornings and the river that i gathered water 
 from to bathe my bare body in the natural world 
we all came from, the rich dirt under my nails 
and the sweet scrapes of all that's imperfectly 
beautiful.

my weekend ended this morning.  he drove away 
out into this gleamed-up day.  i almost wanted 
to cry, but it would have been out of habit for 
whenever anybody leaves.  you're supposed to 
cry.  but really i all i could do was smile.  
he's goin out west, he's goin to montana, he's 
gonna live his life, i took my shower, all i 
could do was smile.  he's got his life, where is 
mine?  i dunno.  but i'll smile, i'll grin till 
the cows come home cuz my turn is just around 
the bend, and by golly damn, i'll live.  
patience is a virtue, and i'm feelin mighty 
virtuous.  the brown-eyed boy reinforced that 
well-known fact to me quite indirectly...i don't 
even know if he knows he did.  but the sun is up 
and out, i'll clean all those dishes, i'll wash 
my cave-muddied khakis, i'm gonna ramble on, i'm 
gonna sing my song.

i gave him a multi-vitamin.  he gave me a kiss.

it's tuesday morning and i know i've gotta go to 
school.  but these expectations have been met, 
these expectations have been exceeded.

breathe.
---your mountain mama sweetheart   X





"The differences between what you hope 
for and what you end up receiving are 
part of what makes the outside, the 
hoped for, worthwhile...and beautiful."
---the Lovely Lou
http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife!
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