Sinister: wonky thoughts when you're sick

[idleberry]

I was going to write yesterday and tell you all how
ill I felt, but then I thought better of it. And now
I'm thinking better of thinking of it. I want to tell
the world, I want to whinge, becuase I feel ill, and I
want some symapthy. Or attention. Either will do fine.
I'm such a wuss when it comes to being ill.

I've got this really bad sore throaty thing- sort of
my tonsils really, and a warm fuzzy head feeling and
achy bits. the back of my neck aches, I'd love a nice
massage right now. I'd love a bit of TLC to soothe me.


I'm supposed to go on a course tomorrow. Not a race or
golf type, like, one for training and stuff. A whole
day. The course is booked out solid, and very popular,
and I was lucky to get a place on it. So I'm taking
the day off today to get all rested up for tomorrow. I
thought I could make it through today and tomorrow-
just soldier along, and leave the dying thing til
Friday. But thats not working, I woke up this morning,
feeling pretty awful, so decided staying in bed was
the best thing.

I went to  the seaside on Monday with my pal, and
built a sandcastle and bought ice cream and sat in a
graveyard drawing pictures.  It was great fun. I've
still got sand everywhere- especially in my trainers.

I had a dream last night about the girls from Sex And
The City, and me weeing into a washing machine- as you
do. My brain and I aren't working, I nearly wrote
washine maching which would not make any sense to you
at all. I'm in that sort of dream like state right
now, where everything seems a little surreal- thats
what happens when you are ill.
or maybe just to me.
I dreamt about being back at school, only as an adult
and being able to answer back the cheeky adolecent
kids with one liners to put them in their place. I
dreamt about a girl who I used to be friends with, and
asking her why we weren't friends anymore.
I can never really fathom why friendships deteriorate.

One of my pals has moved. He split up from his wife
last summer, since she was seing other people behind
his back and stuff, and he was really sad about it,
and tried to make it work, but she wasn't interested.
So then he took a holiday to visit an old friend of
his in Calefornia, and he fell in love with her. Turns
out they were in love all along, just with different
people. So now he's moved out there to start a new
life in her arms.

I've decided to start a new life in my own arms. Its
the first place to fall in love when you're single.

my head is getting fuzzy again and throbbing, and
spinning a bit and my thoughts aren't quite coherent
or straightforward- I'm feeling surreal, so I think i
ought to leave my post at the end of this bit.

Love,

idles
xxxx





=====
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