Sinister: A Small Matter of Technique

[Caitlin Pigtails]

When reading all your replys to the Sinister Questionnaire (fill it in 
now if you haven't already), I couldn't help noticing that a large 
number of you (2) seemed to get a bit confused over the word "snog" and 
what it means.  I woke up at about 3am the other day thinking about 
this, and decided I'd better write a post to explain.  A snog, you see, 
is one of the four basic types of kiss, which are as follows:

1) The Air Kiss
This involves putting your chin vaguely over the other person's right 
shoulder, then their left, and saying "Mwah!" as you do.  It tends to 
be done by posh people, especially those with more money than style.  
If you actually make skin-skin contact during this, it means you are a 
lesbian (girls) or a cad and a bounder (boys).  This is the sort of 
kiss you give your granny if you are going to inherit a trust fund from 
her.

2) The Peck On The Cheek
This involves touching their cheek with your pursed lips, but only 
briefly.  Any more is rude.  It's not very romantic, really.  This is 
the sort of kiss you give your granny if you are an ordinary person who 
lives somewhere ordinary, like Grimsby, Thessalonika, or Newaygo (MI).

3) The Kiss On The Lips
This kiss doesn't really have a name.  It's just an ordinary type of 
kiss, where your lips touch together.  If you are in arctic climates, 
be careful not to freeze yourselves together.  This is the sort of kiss 
you give your granny if she lives somewhere a bit decadent, like San 
Francisco, Brighton, or 1890s Paris.

4) The Snog
This involves your tongues, your whole face, and often your whole body 
too.  It lasts at least half an hour, and leaves you feeling tingly all 
over, and slightly melted.  This is the sort of kiss you give your 
granny if your granny is also your cousin.

I hope this is Useful Information for some of you out there

love
xx
caitlin
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