Sinister: I'm waking up to us of a (the reporting back has arrived)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

Dear Sinister,

I think a lot of people find diary entry posts quite dull and uninspiring, 
so I'm going to hide* a REALLY REALLY REALLY FUNNY bit to this post to make 
it at least entertaining for its readers, so they don't get bored out of 
their heads.

(* much like a TREASURE HUNT, if you catch my drift)


KEN ARRIVES (knock knock)

So on the saturday, after flying over places with amusing names such as "The 
Sleeping Bear Dunes", "Isabella Inidan Reservation" and "Kuujjuaq!", the 
plane took Ken over the endless landscape of rectangular blocks of houses 
and trees that is the city of Chicago.

Chicago was vast and it was odd and I flew over a school that had a baseball 
and american football pitch and there was no soccer field to be seen, and 
the plane landed on O'hare airport.  The plane had to drive itself over this 
bridge thing where cars drive past underneath, it was quite amusing.

Soon after I was picked up onto a nice car by a nice girl and her mum, both 
with a very sweet accent.  And it was a very exciting journey through the 
American roads.  I was then delivered to the mansion house of my hostess of 
the week, who took me onto my first wandering of Chicagoland.

In true Rock and Roll style, just hours later I was already in a PAR-TAY, 
and drank a deadly drink "Ground Control to Major Tang" which made the room 
float in a most peculiar way.


KEN ADVENTURES (who's there)

Over the next few days, I learnt of such words as "Soliciting", "Peddling" 
and "Loitering" whilst I was in America, and played Golf for the first time 
- I hit one shot that was as if I was Tiger Woods!  On Cannabis.

Other activities of the expressive arts involved bowling at an alley that 
you have to keep scores on a piece of paper and where you can win Free 
Bowling from the drunken, rock and roll quizzical owner, and of course there 
was KARAOKE! where one can sing to as high an octave to one's heart's 
desire!


KEN DRIVES AND SEES B&S! (Hair)

After a few episodes, Ken managed to rent a car and drives off 
Detroit-bound, in the slight hurry, and awe of the size of his engine he 
drove at a speed that was.. mildly over the speed limit.  He almost had a 
heart attack when he read the sign at the back of this car he was about to 
overtake that said "Police" on it.  But he slowed down in time and the 
police went away.  Phew.

Once got to the flaming streets of Detroit, Ken was saved by a delightful 
angel who used TWO of his spare tickets to help Ken get into the Detroit 
gig, he was a star, and he wasn't the only star that night, wow, what a good 
gig, I think was my exclamation after the Detroit gig.  It was so nice, and 
the crowd were so enthusiastic, unlike some twats in Brixton who were 
obviously too cool for B&S but not clever enough to realise that they can 
maybe just fuck off.

I got in just in time for Baby Love, missed the champaigne though, I didn't 
have my ID on me anyway, I wonder if the cops could have busted B&S for not 
checking IDs before handing out booze.

I went to a PAR-TAY after the gig, ooo it was fun, and MICK AND STEVIE AND 
BEANS AND OTHERS were there!  Oh yeah, and the beer was so tasty!  It tasted 
like Ly-chee juice!  Except with less alcohol contents.  Later on that night 
we went back to a very kind host's house at a mystery town in Michigan.


KEN CAFENICS AND SEES B&S! (Hair who?)

The next day was a rainy day, and so there were no chances for football or 
croquet, but it was ok, because we had the pick-me-up café, where we would 
stay, and I ate an Eggs Benedict which was yum-may!  It was good that many 
people turned up to play.  I hope my rhyming wasn't too gay.

"Wow, what a good gig" was exactly what I said after the Chicago gig, again, 
and this time in even greater volume.  Since WOW, WHAT A GOOD GIG it was!  
They played all my favourite songs, almost all, and loads of the rare ones 
that they don't play ever, like Beyond the Sunrise!  Haha no, but they did 
play Judy is a Dick Slap!

During the show, someone shouted out a genius hackle..

A person asked "WHERE'S ISOBEL!!!"
Stuart Murdoch said "She's.. gone... home!"

Clever huh?  Someone THEN shouted

"BUMMER!"

HA HA HA HA HA!!  Pure genius!

I helped a girl with the construction of her set list by telling her to Fuck 
this shit, and she just wrote it down and thanked me.  The crowd were even 
more enthusiastic than the night before, and some people danced vigorously.

Later on I went to a post-gig PAR-TAY, and drank beer from a keg!  And 
rendezvoused with girls!  And things!  Then later on I was in bed with some 
canadian chick.  Phwoar.


KEN LEAVES CHICAGO (Hair today, gone tomorrow!)

After visiting a greasy American diner, boosting table cloths with green and 
white checkered patterns, and discussions of whether Guacamole and Anthrax 
are in fact the same thing, it was time for Ken to make the sad journey to 
O'Hare airport.  The Moldy Peaches were the sound track, and they sang 
goodbye to me, it was apt.

I was hoping to catch a last glimpse of chicago just as the plane was 
leaving, but I guess fittingly, chicago just faded away into a windowful of 
whiteness as the plane soared above the clouds.  With a savoury egg burito 
dinner as the only thing left to remind me of sweet chicago.


KEN RETURNS (haha, so funny)

After being flirted at by the air hostess, the plane landed near the 
villiages of twisting roads and fields and onto the heathrow airport runway. 
  My parents are now back in the UK.  I had to wait an hour in the rain for 
them, but I didn't mind, since I have kinda missed them.

Now everytime I shut my eyes, I feel like I'm in Chicago and I could see 
those Green roadsigns hanging on the street lamps.  They say time flies when 
you're having fun, but my one week in Chicago felt as long as a lifetime, 
yet I still had fun.  Mainly due to all of you who were ever so lovely to 
me, you know who you are.  And I hope to see you all again.. one day!  
Thanks for making a little boy so happy.

Love and Red Bulls
Ken
P.S.: Refer to previous posts for the content of this P.S.
P.S.2.: I was in the same cafe as the couple who got engaged through B&S!
P.S.3.: I was in the same cafe as the CAKE who was given to B&S!
P.S.4.: I HUGGED THE DANCING GIRLS WHO WERE ON STAGE WITH B&S!!!
P.S.5.: I should stop boasting of my claims to fames.

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