Sinister: I could dance all night like I'm a soul boy

[Fernando Brito]

Hello! How are you, my dear sinister friend?
I've been up and down, last week I was was almost at the bottom, now I'm
coming up!

Last time I posted I told you I was in trouble.
I am still in trouble...

She was mine, for some time...
I said to her everything a boy can say to a girl. I am happy and proud
because of it. She cried when I asked her why she didn't leave her
boyfriend, and I cried when she told me she liked me so much, but not
"that" much. And we kissed, and everything seemed to be going to the
happiest ending...
But she never gave me an answer. Not from her mouth, but I could see her
answer, I saw it last night, in my living room...

I'm not proud to say that somehow I begged for her love. But what was I
supposed to do? This is love, not money or some object! Is it a shame to
beg for love? Maybe someday I will feel ashamed... today I'm proud. I'm
proud that I humiliated myself. I'm proud that I cried in public for the
first time since I was nine or ten. I'm proud because I'm not a complete
loser, for at least I tried, and I'm still trying. But the way things are
going...

Last time I posted I was about to leave my flat and move with one of my
flatmates to another place...
I never wanted to live along with him, he was boring, he was a fascist, he
was childish... But she moved to our flat and we would have to leave as
soon as possible. In the end he backed out, he wouldn't move anymore
because it would be too expensive for him... but that was just an excuse,
he knew he wouldn't move six months before, but nothing he told me. Well,
then we had three bedrooms for four people, someone had leave. So he left.
And now I live with her and my korean flat mate. And we're quite a nice
trio. But only friends.

Anyway... I've been too sad since I met her, since my last post... so last
week I decided I needed some shock therapy, some medicine that could make
me feel happy again... So I took some Trompe Le Monde... and I took it
again... and again... and almost got addicted to it! And now I have a
dream, and my dream is to go out to some party... and when the party is
electrical, almost sparkling, the DJ plays Head On! And at this moment I
think I could really die because I wouldn't really mind!
So lately all I wanted was some party where I could dance all night long...
and maybe die (of happiness, some kind of epiphany)!!
Last saturday it finally happened. Me, her and a friend of her, a famous DJ
(anyone cares?!). It took place in a hotel lobby. 80s hits playing on the
pickups... Madonna, George Michael, Michael Jackson... I hate all that
stuff!
But I was so in the mood, even if they played the 5th of Beethoven I would
dance the same way! And I danced so much! And the way I danced... It was so
funny, I was dancing and looking so oddly... everyone were staring at me!
Everytime I looked around I saw someone looking at me and I recalled
There's Too Much Love, and laughed while thinking that perhaps I was
causing offense by the way I looked! And I drunk like when I was 17, when I
used to drink until I couldn't walk... but last saturday I could walk, and
dance, and what's really strange, feel happy! It is sad to say it, but
everytime I drink too much I feel very depressed, insecure... but that
night, I don't know what happened, I was feeling great! I didn't care what
people were thinking about me, I didn't care if my pants were too tight, or
my dancing was too weird, I just closed my eyes and danced, and danced, and
danced...

It's been quite a while since Zoe asked some opinion about the Yeah Yeah
Yeahs...
Well, better later than never... I think THEY ROCK!!!
Their sound is really good, but I think Karen O. is up to now, what really
stands out! Her voice is nice, her accent is funny, and her performance is
something (which I saw here: http://www.punkcast.com)...
But as god only knows when they will release their EP here in Brazil, I
think I'll burn my own bootleg... thanx Audiogalaxy!
And I'm looking for some party where I can dance to their songs, maybe just
before Head On!

Well, as this post is totally pointless and quite contentless, and
currently it's the gig reporting season, I'd like to say a word about what
I saw last Tuesday at the Mogwai's gig: STUPEFYING!!!
I lost my way, literally! When I was walking back home it took me some time
until I realized I was going to the wrong direction!

And now some B&S content:
Storytelling, the album, is goodl!
Storytelling, the song, is wonderful!
But I've never read about them playing this song live. Does anyone know if
it ever happened?

And if you're reading this paragraph...
Thank you for being so patient! I will try harder next time, but I needed
something to come out of Lurkerland, as it's been almost a month I don't
show up!

Kisses & hugs!

Fernando Brito


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