Sinister: S!M!U!T!

[robin stout]

why, hello!

RACHEL PLAYFORTH (MISS) SAID:

<<It was infuriatingly precious when they wouldn't do press or appear on 
sleeve photos etc, I know it was.  But it did give us something to
*wonder* about, and if you can't have wonder then what have you really got?  
A fey Scottish band made up of scruffy, skinny lads and winsome lasses, who 
you might have forgotten about already if the NME didn't occasionally remind 
you.  Oh I don't really believe that, of course. But suffice to say, I have 
not been reading the Q&A page on the website.>>

But have you been reading Stuart’s Diary, Rachel? It seems he just can’t 
help being smutty. Have you seen his latest entry? It’s full of porn and 
Dentist Sex, and is like a big mountain of spunk! Look!

<<Well I was lying back, and the dentist was jabbing away, and the assistant 
had her whole hand in there as well, and my saliva glands were really 
working overtime! I mean the girl was meant to be sucking that stuff up, but 
it was too much. And it overflowed and started running down my neck into my 
hair! Really, it felt like a complete flood, like a tributary of the Nile or 
something. And I was trying to attract the girl to what was happening, but 
of course it's hard when you've got two people pinning you down like that.>>

Crikey! I hope he remembered his cap!

And then he says he’s bored of sex. Too much of it, I think!

Archel also said:

<<Personally I hate bras, but you've
got to have them sometimes.  It's like nits.>>

And I thought she said “tits.” But she didn't. She did say “bras”, though. 
He he! Bras!!

On a less smutty note, I quite like reading the diary and stuff. I don’t 
think it reveals anything too sensational and really quite like the way 
Stuart spends most of his time being lazy, and isn’t like a proper rock star 
at all. I can’t think of many other artists who would set homework like 
this, either:

<< But here's a little assignment for you. In the spirit of what I was 
talking about earlier I want you to write in and tell me something you found 
sexy. But the thing is, it's not to include any sex. Because sometimes 
someone can do something so attractive. but it's nothing to do with that 
media fed notion of sex I'm so bored with. It's something different. I was 
going to give you an example, but I'm so jaded.. you're just going to have 
to use your imagination.>>

This is like the opposite of Archel’s underwear competition I think. 
Archel’s is easier, because I think about bras A LOT, but I think I might 
enter Stuart’s too. Everyone else has (he he! snigger!)

I’m off to the dentist then.

bye x x robin





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