Sinister: Sinister Christmas Present Exchange!

[Laura Llew]

Miss Maddie Minx* murmured something to the effect of:
"Sending viruses to people isn't a nice thing to do? I'd better revise my 
Christmas list then."

On that note, I hereby commence the third* annual Sinister Christmas Present 
Exchange!

Here's how it works:

You send me an e-mail to Lleweth at hotmail.com with your:
* Name
* Full Address
* The number of presents you would like to send out (since it will 
correspond with the presents you will receive)
and
* Whether you have a preference of sending to someone inside your country or 
not as foreign mailing can get right pricey and I have great respect for you 
cheap bastards out there. If geography makes no difference, then there's no 
need to mention anything.

After everyone who is interested has had a chance to reply - all your names 
written on individual scraps of paper, a sedated gray cloche, and I shall 
all play Chuck Woolery and match everyone up with a partner. Your day shall 
be brightened with the sparkling correspondence from me telling you who that 
lucky sinister kid you're giving to is at which point you should then whip 
out the crazy glue, pipe cleaners, and your pet ferret to devise a Christmas 
present that should wow anyone.

1. This is just for those who wish to participate. It is by no means 
required nor are there any requirements - meaning you can still be in the 
nursery or be embittered and wasting in ILE all the time and have just in a 
moment of nostalgia and dementia tainted haze have wandered back to your 
ole' stomping ground.

2. In the words of the Greek chic who set this shindig up a few years ago - 
"This is not restricted to just people that celebrate Christmas. It just 
happens to help the spirit of exchanging presents so other people that don't 
celebrate Christmas are very welcome!" Well, it was in those words except 
for less capitalized, a flagrant disregard for grammar, and way too many 
exclamation points than I can use without getting nauseous. Oh and the Greek 
cheek is Joanna and she rules even if she thinks it's ok to deny our list 
with her posts.

3. It's really up to you as to what kind of gift you give - as it can be 
anything from something you made to a mix to your favorite book (guess who 
will be getting a copy of The Basic Eight, baby!) to a chocolate covered boy 
(though I would like notification if you plan to give away the latter.) As 
long as it adheres to the postal code and doesn't involve bodily fluids, I 
think we'll all be happy - especially the lucky llew who gets the chocolate 
covered boy.

4. I would like to make a request only to sign up if you intend in actually 
participating because really my shoulder isn't made for people crying on it 
because they didn't receive anything even though they sent out a matching 
set of hello kitty mittens and mufflers.

I can't even stress how much I actually sincerely mean that. If you think 
there's a chance that you might get too involved in exams, work, seducing 
the neighborhood mall's santa, or family to participate, please don't. We 
still love you. In fact, we'll love you more if you don't sign up for this 
when there's that possibility. I know from last year's experience that 
people get really sad when nothing comes there way after they've put alot 
into a gift. You really don't want to be responsible for the surprise 
instantaneous disappearance of a whole pound of chocolate, do you? I mean 
unless you're a cute boy and it's being used to coat yourself that is.

If you have any questions or need to get rid of a large sum of money 
quickly, please feel free to contact me.

yours,
Laura

*This is the same Miss Maddie Minx who once declared that her goal in her 
educational pursuits was to slip a lyric from a song by The Smiths into one 
of her college papers. However, when I suggested that she use the line of, 
"I want to live and I want to love. I want to catch something I might be 
ashamed of" in her paper on who she'd rather sleep with Sylvia Plath or 
Virginia Woolf (by the lyrics you can obviously see she chose Plath) I was 
only laughed at. Oh, one day my sagacity shall be fully respected indeed!
** It might have been going on longer than that but I just chose a number to 
make it sound more official.

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