Sinister: seeing other imaginary people

[s. lord]

Today started off well - my first class went quickly and not much was 
learned - after my first class I walk to the student union on the edge of 
campus - every m/w/f I go and eat lunch with my friends seth and jules - we 
sit around and just eat really bad over priced union food and talk about 
everything that is going wrong in our lives - today though I just happened 
to run into my imaginary boyfriend - saying he is an imaginary boyfriend 
sounds weird - he is a real person - very much real - and he knows me - we 
have talked before - we both used to work at the same store - but he just 
doesn't know that I think he is completely the cutest person in the world 
and that we are pretend dating - god now that I write this out it sounds 
really sad - oh well I guess - so it is - anyways - he was sitting down 
eating lunch when I saw him from the check out lane - I stared briefly for a 
moment at him - oh so good looking - with that dark hair and those dark eyes 
- but then the man at the check out got angry at me for taking so long and 
yelled something at me which I guessed was some words meaning 'get a move 
on' - so I dug into my pockets and started sorting through my change - I 
have been a little short on money lately - so I had to dig through my car to 
find some money this morning - luckily I found five dollars worth of change 
under my seat - who knew there was so much money in my car - but anyway - so 
I was paying with change and staring at my imaginary boyfriend for way too 
long - people were getting angry - after I got done paying I walked over and 
saw where my friend seth was going to sit - where we usually sit - in the 
back atrium type area - it is normally a really good spot to sit - lots of 
professors and grad students sit out there which is nice cause it makes us 
feel a tad bit more sophisticated - sad - yes it is - but sometimes you just 
have to - but I didn't want to go out there - I wanted to go over to the 
imaginary boyfriend and ask him if I could sit with him - he was at a table 
for two and I knew it was just fate that it turned out that way - he was 
waiting for me - so he got a table for two -  we could share my french fries 
and talk coyly over the trivial news in today's daily newspaper - share a 
laugh and a dreamy glance - I could tell him about the book I am reading now 
- this side of paradise - about how amory blaine goes through life looking 
for love - he would then be interested and ask to read it when I am done - 
(of course since he is my imaginary boyfriend he would be interested and not 
just act interested just to please me) - which I would gladly give him to 
read - oh how great it would be to talk to him about anything - just stare 
at him as he talked about the useless crap he talks about -  oh it would be 
so wonderful - but then my daydream was shattered by the harsh light of 
reality that was suddenly thrust upon me - as I walked toward him he got up 
and left - oh no imaginary boyfriend - do not go - what about lunch - what 
happened to conversation we were to share - what happened to it all - and 
that is when I knew I it was over - I had to break up with him - it was not 
going to last anyway - we both had our separate worlds and our own friends - 
so after a few minutes of standing there and thinking about the future I 
will never have with the cutest boy in the world - I moved on to the table 
in the atrium and sat with my friends - it was a sad day - but I know it is 
better off this way - it is too much work to maintain an imaginary boyfriend 
- always having to do everything for them - it was just time to end it - but 
tomorrow is another day - who knows what may happen -


much love to you all
--scott
----------------------------------------------
what we place most hopes upon
generally proves most fatal.
			- vicar of wakefeild




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