Sinister: friday morning wake up knowing that you've got to go to school.

[stout robin]

Hello

sam said: <<I'm going to be on 15-1>>

Did you know that William G Stewart, presenter of 15
to 1, was friends with Robin Askwith of Confessions of
a Window Cleaner fame? He was, you know. I read it in
his biography in a bookshop once. I hid the book
inside a copy of Delia Smith’s How to Cook Eggs.

I think we should set a few challenges for Sam to do
during his appearance on the telly. Mine is to try to
get him talking about Mister Askwith. Here is my plan:

When you’re downing a few consolatory drinks with
Mister Stewart after the show and you run out of
things to say, you should casually say something like:

"Hey Willy, I saw a triffic film on the telly last
night. It was called Confessions of a Window Cleaner
and it was the funniest thing I’ve seen for donkeys.
The things a man can do with a shammy leather and a
bucket of soapy water I’d never have believed."

At this point, William G’s expression of dutiful
boredom, which he usually wears when talking to washed
up losers will turn into one of expectant curiosity.
Now you’ve got his interest you could follow up your
opening sentence with something like:

"Oh yes, Willy, I do like a sweaty bottom"

or maybe: "Oh yes, Willy, I had a BIG wank"

or even just "Oh yes! Willy!"

By now William G will be vigorously nodding in
agreement and you’ll be getting along like best
buddies. If you’re lucky he’ll start telling you about
all his crazy adventures he used to have when he was a
lad, like the time he decided to become a driving
instructor and girls tops fell off whenever they were
doing an emergency stop.

After all this you could Report Back with all the
funny stories William G has told you. It would be like
Confessions of a Quiz Show Host. So go on Sam, don’t
just do it for me - do it for Sinister!

Jennings said:

<<
>Furthering the niceness tip, do many Sinisterines do
this? Asked young mark. He was talking about giving
blood. Well I did a few weeks ago.. It wasn't as
painful as I thought it was going to be but you can
still get a fairly large amount of sympathy when you
show your plaster... I was a wee bit embarrassed about
all the questions they asked me ("well... no...
kinda... yes... well") and then I received my blood
card thingy in the post this morning and it turns out
I'm A positive. Plain old run of the mill A positive.
Well I won't be doing that again. Hmph.
>>

I’m B positive, so don’t ring me for a donation if you
get your foot stuck in a Breville in a bizarre
blending accident.

I tried to give blood last week and the nurse asked me
if I’d had any illnesses recently. I said, "Well, not
really, I had a bit of a cold at the weekend but I’m
over it now." and she told me that I was DISEASED and
that if I gave blood then I would KILL BABIES. I
thought it was a bit harsh to have gone along,
altruistically willing to let old women suck blood out
of my arms for the sake of the common good, only to be
branded a BABY KILLER. I shouldn’t imagine it’s in the
government’s NHS guidelines.

Robin x

ps: Does anyone know what the G in William G Stewart
stands for? My money’s on Gaylord.

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