Sinister: welcome to the cheap seats

[hannah brown]

hmmm, i feel like having an incestuous and brief love affair with a 
comleplete stranger, i think they call it a "one night stand", i tried it 
once and it was twnoml (or in the true sinister style TWINOMLETTE ie "the 
worst night of my life") We didn't go the whole way (thank fuck), he shat in 
my bed then made me make breakfast for him.hhmmm, should i be saying this? 
Do people still have one night stands these days? Do you? I haven't seen so 
many lurching lovelies on their way to drunkern shagdom of late, maybe i 
just go to the wrong (or right) places. I could put it down to getting older 
but that would be a gobshite excuse!

So i AM getting older (which is a truely absurd thing to say because you 
can't do anything but)and lately i have been learning lots of new things 
about myself, does that sound a bit obsessed? Some things about me are good 
and others are just so horribly far away from what i want to be that i just 
can't stop trying to change them. One trait of mine is the inability to take 
myself seriously, this is why i can't write songs, i get to the lyric stage 
and just cringe and curl up in embarrasement at any small incling of showing 
emotion. Even now i am cringing at this e-mail because i am talking quite 
honestly about how i feel. It's quite exciting to learn new things about 
yourself but it can be frightening too. By that i mean that if you take all 
the things that you hate about YOU and try to change, then think of yourself 
12 years on with the same bad traits it's quite weird. I may be coming 
across as being pathetic/depressed but i am neither, it's just about the 
little things i think of when the light goes out.

er yeh, i haven't seen any sini crew for months and i keep missing the 
london meet ups coz my e-mail access is limited, but next time i gonna 
chuffing know about it. A good friend of mine told me he thought the idea of 
a bunch of B&S fans getting together was just horrific, calling us a bunch 
of saddos who just want to get closer to the band. I argued my point. He 
squished his face up. I have not been able to look at my friend in the same 
light ever since.

love hannahb


" there is no dark side of the moon, it's all dark really"








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