Sinister: Songs for idiots (round 5)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

(Previously, on Belle and Sebastian on the Weakest link...)

<Anne> Time's up, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM

<Stuart> Isobel
<Stevie> Chris
<Richard> Chris
<Chris> Richard
<Bob> Richard
<Isobel> Chris

<Orchestra> DUM!

<Anne> Bob
<Bob> Yes Anne.
<Anne> So which world-touring band are you in?  Supertramp?
<Bob> haha.
<Anne> Why Richard?  Is it because he can afford a haircut and you can't?
<Bob> I just remembered that he got a question wrong earlier on that's all.
<Anne> Right.. Stuart!
<Stuart> Yes Anne.
<Anne> Why Isobel?
<Stuart> Because she's with a guy who takes the price for everything I ever 
showed her!!
<Anne> mmm.. ok.  Isobel!  Why Chris?
<Isobel> Chris made me eat all his beans and I farted for 3 straight days!  
And that's A LOT of farting.
<Anne> Well one second of it would have been a lot!  Richard, so did Chris 
make you fart as well?
<Richard> No Anne
<Richard> Although I think Chris is just a pale imitation of Johnny Marr.

<Anne> Well Chris, statistically you weren't the weakest link in that round 
- but they think that you came from Idiot Country, and it's the votes that 
count so you ARE the weakest link GOODBYE!

* Chris does the walk of shame

(..Inside interview room)
<Chris> Grr I can't believe the amount tactical voting Richard was doing, 
yet he kept GETTING AWAY WITH IT!  The LUCKY BAG, I hope one of them will 
GET THE MESSAGE next round, and vote him out.

(..Back to studio)
<Anne> On to round five team, and so far you have banked the disappointing 
£220 out of the possible £4000, we're going to take another 10 seconds off 
the clock and we'll start with the strongest link from the last round, and 
that's Bob.  Let's PLAY.. THEWEAKESTLINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM...

<Anne> Start the clock

<Orchestra> DUM DUM!

<Anne> Bob, in football, the football club Linfield FC is a football club of 
which Northern Irish city?
<Bob> Belfast!
<Anne> Correct!  Isobel, according to a song by Queen what kind of girls 
make the world go round?
<Isobel> A girl like me!
<Anne> The correct answer is "Fat Bottomed Girls" but I'll accept that as 
the answer, Stuart, what are the answers to the clues to the treasure hunt?
<Stuart> Not telling ya.
<Anne> No that isn't the correct answer.  Stevie, in the Shakespearian play 
Romeo And Juliet, Romeo was from the family of Montague, from which family 
was his lover, Juliet?
<Stevie> I know!  His lover lies south in the cityyyy!
<Anne> No, the correct answer is Capulet.  Richard, Siamese, Persian and 
Manx are all breeds of what animal?
<Richard> cats!
<Anne> Correct!  Bob, St. Anne's cathedral is situated on Donegall Street of 
which city?
<Bob> Belfast!
<Anne> Correct!  Isobel..
<Isobel> Bank!

<Orchestra> DUM... DUM... DUM DUM!

<Anne> Time's up, team in that round you have managed to bank the ABYSMAL 
£50 out of the possible £1000.  Which one of you thought that there were 6 
members in 5ive?  Who is too dense for So Solid Crew?  It's time for you to 
VOTE OFF, the WEAKEST LINK!

<Jon Briggs> In that round, Bob was once again the strongest link, and 
Stuart was the weakest link for the first time, will this be reflected in 
the votes?

<Anne> Time's up, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM

---
(..to be continued)

Ken

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