Sinister: avant que tu t'en ailles d�crocher les �toiles

[elenita 99]

Hello Sinister,

I have been reading all your posts with interest. It is funny how after 
being "away" for some time, it still feels like home to be here and read 
about your lives and stories.

I came back from a nice holiday in Sicily a few weeks ago, and it feels like 
it was 10 months ago already. Holidays are always too short when you are 
working. Sometimes I wish I was a poor student again.

I am starting to be in my winter mood again, as the weather in Paris is 
colder every single day that passes. Symptoms of winter mood are as follow: 
general grumpiness and laziness, no will whatsoever to get up and get out of 
the warm duvet, extreme desire of eating chocolate and sweets. Therefore it 
is harder to cope with everyday life, work, grocery shopping and tube 
journeys. I don't like winter, I have a deep feeling that my body was 
designed to live in Thaïland or Guatemala.

I will be 23 soon. I feel like I am getting old, I have been working for 
almost a year. I don't exactly feel like an adult, but people are relying on 
me, expect me to do and produce things. I have my own health insurance, my 
own house insurance, my own pay slips, and I can't cry to my mum anymore 
when I am overdrawn (that is most of the time). Being an adult is not always 
easy.

I am a bit more worried about my mum getting old. I mean she is not "old" or 
anything, she is going to be 47 soon, that how old mums are these days I 
suppose. But she is more worried about everyday life, she has more troubles 
coping with my dad, and instead of having three kids at home she has only 
one now (and not for very long, I suppose). I mean, when all you have been 
doing all your life is cherishing your children and trying to be the best 
mum in the world, what the hell do you do when they leave and go away? Learn 
portuguese, learn chinese cooking, learn piano? Doesn't sound like the best 
solution to me.

I have read Gordon's "A to Z of the girls I have known", then realised I 
could not fill it with boys. Mmmm this is surely showing what kind of work 
needs to be done here.

I have spent last weekend in Luxemburg. This is such a tiny and weird 
country. People have too much money and they don't know what to do with it, 
so they are trying to forget the weather is crap by buying big cars and big 
houses and diamond earrings to their wifes. A strange mix of luxury and 
gloom, as most of the country is grey and sad.

On another note, anyone with ideas related to the "how to entertain a 15 
year-old brother all weekend" theme is more than welcome to email me.

Have a great day, and week, and month
Elena xx



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