Sinister: why can't i be sad all the time?

[s. lord]

it is nice today - it is cold and crisp - cold enough to make our cheeks 
rosey - yet we are all still pretty warm - it is a gray day - like the last 
several - it is starting to become winter outside - the trees are finally 
losing all there leaves - the ground is cluttered with color - that crunches 
as i walk over it - it is the season now - when ever this time of year comes 
- there is always a sort of changing of moods - it seems that when it gets 
grayer - so do i - gone are the long days and short nights - now the sun is 
up around seven and is gone again by six - it always seems that around this 
time of year - i seem to get sad - usually not by any sort of means - i just 
start to feel a little more depressed then usual - is that wrong - my mother 
seems to think that medication is needed because it is not right to not want 
to smile - but why not - - why can't i be like nature around me - trees are 
dying and going to sleep for the winter - nothing is coming alive - 
everything is slowing down and preparing to sleep - so why can't i just do 
the same - now i am not saying that i would like to sleep all day - it would 
be nice once in a while - but is there anything really wrong with not 
feeling like doing anything - i believe no - but friends say yes - they 
think that the 'spirt of life is out of me' - ugh - what is that - the spirt 
of life - no i am not buying that - to me it is fine to be sad - it is fine 
to not want to do anything - it is fine to sit around and listen to sad 
music all day - i guess i will just have to keep being sad and hope that 
everyone around me begins to understand -





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