Sinister: Thus The Adonis Made Out (alive)

[Laura Llew]

Dearest Sinister,

Three overnight guests, an unfortunate event, one dirty hippie, and a 
stilted roadtrip to Montreal were required of me to fill this post for your 
innocent entertainment. It has been a few days since I have last seen a 
Sinisterine. Things, since then, have not gone well with me. I went from a 
place with a lounging London boy to a place where there was no lounging 
London boy, and from a place with a full bottle of Scotch to a place where 
there is no Scotch. That is to say, from the comfort of my cozy home to a 
family vacation.

Before I left, I had two weeks of sinister filled fun with guests including:
*The Boy "Screw Jim Gilmer - I'm the one who is so hip I have trouble seeing 
over my pelvis & if I keep up this addiction to Fuddruckers' hamburgers I'm 
going to have trouble seeing over my stomach as I will be HOKEY 
CHUBBYLICIOUS, baby" G
*Jay "Un(der)employed" Nagy
*Kirk"mmm Cheerwine"Us and
*Jay "All I want is a vaguely Byronic underwear model who can play Chopin 
and discuss Descartes while making a chocolate martini - Is this too much to 
ask?!" Eckerd.

All but the latter allowed themselves to be lured into staying several days 
at my hostile hostel. It was a relief that I didn't have to resort to my 
usual threats of grappling hooks and truck drivers named Earl to convince 
them they really did want to stay.

After three years on this list and reading a multitude of reports back from 
picnics and days o red knickers, I finally have been to such. I've met 
members from Sinister before. The first time I met someone from here I broke 
out in hives beforehand, the second I fell down a long flight of steps the 
day of and bruised myself over my entire body (many parts which I didn't 
know were in existence before the incident), the third meeting I hadn't 
slept for weeks prior and was reduced to incoherent drivel, the fourth one I 
spilled chemicals on my face leaving brutal marks and appearing as scarface, 
and after that I've blocked it out and it can't be recalled without the use 
of hypnosis and dancing midgets. Suffice it to say, I didn't think I would 
ever make it to a Sinister gathering without some accident occurring which 
would make me wish I had taken out that large insurance policy.  It was 
lucky that I escaped unscathed.

We had a smallish gathering at the bookstore in South Carolina on Sunday a 
couple of weeks ago. There were 13 in attendance (5 sinisters, 1 Miss 
Flannery, & variously imported bookshop girls and the like) , one tombstone 
cake, undrunk wine, suspiciously colored water, and plenty of pictures 
taken. However, I suck at websites so I haven't put them on-line anywhere. 
Mr. Un(der)employed has some photos of the surrounding areas at 
http://www.jaynagyphoto.com/North%20Carolina.html Sadly, the goat wasn't in 
attendance. Actual pictures of people have been cut up, made into terrifying 
collages, and used in puppet shows which are now touring the nation.

My other thought concerning sinister gatherings was how everyone's 
post-posts always painted things and people as picturesque. No one ever has 
a bad time, was shamelessly hit on by some heinous halitosis pretentious 
prick, or couldn't get anyone to say more than two words to them. However, I 
- *I* was going to be the one to unveil the hideous underbelly of Sinister 
while employing hideous grammar no less. Oh yes. Show it as it really is - 
exposing the seedy side that everyone else keeps quiet.

No
such
luck.

Once I shivered and stated I was cold and one of the sinister boys fetched 
me (the supposed hostess) a blanket. Others graciously helped me out with 
moving things at the bookstore, one gave me an ace Johnny Cash record, and 
there were numerous other acts of kindness. Plus, I thoroughly adored all of 
them and thought they were neurotically charming and hysterically witty. The 
bastards! O Perfidy, thy name is sinister boys!

I grow too faint with frustration to continue. It is a dreadful thing, at 
such a moment, to have absolutely no one at all to be irritate in such a 
manner, but I shall post this immediately and it shall be somewhat the same. 
I remain, in the meantime,

Yours, as always
Laura

PS - Yes, along with Eugenides'"Middlesex", I read some Sarah Caudwell on my 
trip and it has affected me tremendously. Curse Laurel & Brian of the trendy 
New York set. Heavens knows I didn't need any more encouragement toward 
verbiosity.
PPS - It is not my fault that The Boy G is addicted to Dennys as well so 
don't even try to blame me.
PPPS - For those of you who didn't get to go to the Atlanta b&s gig just go 
to http://sorehead.org/jd/ and have a lookie at Bernard. Trust me, that's 
exactly how Stu-ey boy looked. He's *so* cabanaboyerrific.

_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: 
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+