Sinister: What was the greatest thing before sliced bread was invented?

[Gardiner, Stuart]

As the tumbleweed rolls past the Sinister list, an autumnal feel seems to
have descended on the world. September's always like this. Very little
happens. Even time can't be bothered to get out of bed at this time of year.
People are getting used to being back at work, or back at school, after the
holidays; the weather's dull and grey, and only going to get worse; sports
clubs are all in pre-season training, waiting for the fun bit to start; and
no-one's going out because all the money was spent on holidays. There isn't
even anything good on the telly yet. The only activities going on are
planning work / events / etc for the coming months. It takes the start of
the university terms for people to start appearing again, ready to have a
good time. I've not even touched a drop of alcohol all month (probably the
longest time I've gone without drinking since I was about 15). It feels like
life's on hold.


And all the while, a mad egotistical dictator, detested by the rest of the
world and by most of his own country, continues to build up his armies of
suppression and weapons of mass destruction, intent on destroying other
people's lives. But enough about George Bush. Actually, not quite enough
about him, since I notice Stuart Murdoch (collective gasp as an attempt at
content is revealed...) talking about Iraq in his latest diary entry at
http://www.banchory.net/belleandsebastian/. Yet another person to add to the
list of people who think the inevitable attack on Iraq is ridiculous (as
opposed to, erm, not a single person I've spoken to who thinks it's a good
idea). Unfortunately, much of the media reporting has been very poor (with
the usual exception of the excellent Robert Fisk in The Independent - his
articles alone make the paper worth buying, or at least reading on the
internet...). Some of the points which seem to have been ignored:
1. Twice as many people have been killed by the American-led actions in
Afghanistan as were killed in the WTC attacks (but that doesn't matter,
because they're not American, right?)
2. The USA and Britain both have shedloads of weapons of mass destruction
(but we're allowed to, right?)
3. When the weapons inspectors were thrown out of Iraq for spying for Israel
and the CIA, they were actually spying for Israel and the CIA, as
subsequently admitted by the chief inspector (but the fact that the places
the US bombed a couple of years ago all happened to have just been visited
by the weapons inspectors was a coincidence, right?)
4. Israel has nuclear weapons, and has ignored just as many UN resolutions
as Iraq, and persecutes people living in it, and is currently illegally
occupying another country (but you're not allowed to criticise Israeli
policies, because if you do, you must be anti-semitic, right? Just like
anyone who disagrees with US government policies must hate all Americans and
the whole notion of freedom and democracy, right???)
I could go on all night, but I'd better stop before I start punching the
keyboard in frustration...

Of course, the fact that I'm criticising the US means that the American
spy-bases in Britain will intercept and read this email to check it out.
Probably at the base that we're not supposed to know about at Menwith Hill
in North Yorkshire. In fact, just to make sure, I'll say "Do the world a
favour, assassinate George Bush". And all that in an email which says
Sinister in the title. I look forward to the CIA turning up at the next B&S
gig with sub-machineguns to investigate our extremist cult. That'll be some
interesting publicity... I can just imagine the band being interrogated:

CIA - "Tell us all you know, we won't let you go until you admit to your
plans to take over the world"
Stuart Murdoch - "Och, I don't know what you're talking about, we're just a
band, you know?"
CIA - "You can't fool us. We've been monitering you for months. Your
internet propaganda, the mysterious disappearance of the twee, peace-loving
Isobel..."
Stuart Murdoch - "She left of her own accord. We couldn't have someone in
the band who didn't like travelling around America. Oops, shouldn't have
said that..."
CIA - "Ah! So you admit it then. And we know all about the coded messages in
'The Boy With The Arab Strap'. And we're sure 'Shoot The Sexual Athlete' is
about a plot to kill Bill Clinton."
Stuart David - "This is pish, I'm leaving."


Of course, it's not always so easy to see the 'right path' to take. I'm
currently giving serious consideration to doing some volunteer teaching in
Nepal this time next year. But I can't decide which is morally more
important: teaching the young to help them develop, so that they can get
better jobs in the future; or preserving their traditional culture, which
has lasted hundreds of years and is in many ways better than ours (such as
its peacefulness and lack of emphasis on money), but is being destroyed by
Western influences? If you educate, you are necessarily changing their
culture and making it more similar to our own. But it alleviates poverty.
But poverty only means a lack of money, when there is so much more to life
than that. What is a free-thinking liberal to do?


Big Stu


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