Sinister: Songs for idiots (round 1)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

<Narrator> Any of the nine people in the studio here today could win up to 
ten-thousand pounds. They don't know each other, however, if they want the 
prize money, they'll have to work as a team, but! eight of them will leave 
with nothing, as round-by-round, we lose the player voted...

<Narrator> THE WEAKEST LINK!


<Anne Robinson> Welcome, to THEWEAKESTLINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM...

<Anne Robinson> Let's meet the team.

<Orchestra> DUM!

<Stuart M> Hi my name is Stuart and I sing in a world-touring pop band.
<Stevie> Hi my name is Stevie and I play guitar and sometimes sing in a 
world-touring pop band
<Mick> Hi my name is Mick and I play trumpet and bass in a world-touring pop 
band.
<Sarah> Hi my name is Sarah and I play violin and sometimes sing in a 
world-touring pop band.
<Richard> Hi my name is Richard and I play drums in a world-touring pop 
band.
<Chris> Hi my name is Chris and I play keyboard in a world-touring pop band.
<Bob> Hi my name is Bob and I play guitar and bass in a world-touring pop 
band.
<Isobel> Hi.. my
<Isobel> ..name is Isobel and I used to ..
* isobel catches breath
<Isobel> play cello and some... times sing in a world-touring pop band.
*Isobel catches breath
<Stuart D> Hi my name is Peacock Johnson and you are all bawbags.

<Anne Robinson> In each round, the aim is to answer enough questions 
correctly to reach your thousand-pound-target within the time-limit.

<Anne Robinson> The fastest way is to create a chain of nine correct 
answers, get your question wrong and you break the chain and lose all the 
money in that chain, but if you say "Bank!" before your question is asked, 
the money is safe, however, you start a new question from scratch. Remember 
- at the end of the round, only money that has been banked can be taken 
forward.

<Anne Robinson> We'll start with the person whose name is first 
alphabetically, and that's Bob, let's play.... The Weakest Link!


<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM...  DUM DUM!

<Anne> Bob, what is the capital of Northen Ireland?
<Bob> Belfast!
<Anne> Correct!  Isobel, what 'H' is the term used to The apparent 
intersection of the earth and sky as seen by an observer?
<Isobel> Beyond the Sunrise!
<Anne> Er.. NO!  The correct answer is Horizon.  Peacock, if someone 
describes you as being on the Sinister side, which side would you be on?
<Peacock> Freaky.
<Anne> No, the answer's the left side.  Stuart, what are the answers to the 
clues to the treasure hunt?
<Stuart> not telling ya.
<Anne> No, that isn't the correct answer.  Stevie, in the book of bible 1 
Samuel, how did Jonathan, the son of King Saul and friend of King David, 
die?
<Stevie> He fell off his wooden horse for two.
<Anne> No, he died in battle, Mick, what is the name of the chemical that 
has the formula C9H13N and is sometimes used as a central nervous system 
stimulant?
<Mick> Amphetaminies!
<Anne> No, the correct answer is Amphetamine.  Sarah, named the season that 
should come next in the following logical sequence: spring, winter, and 
what?
<Sarah> Morning.
<Anne> It's AUTUMN!  Richard, during one of the songs by Squeeze, everybody 
told the singer that it's cool to be a what kind of domestic pet?
<Richard> Cat!
<Anne> Correct!  Chris, what word can come after both the following words: 
Jumping, and Baked?
<Chris> Beans!
<Anne> Correct!
<Bob> Bank!
<Anne> Bob.. wha..

<Orchestra> DUM.. DUM... DUM DUM!

<Anne> The time is up, and you have managed to bank a PATHETIC £50 pounds, 
who puts the Trash in Trashcan Sinatras, the Bellend in Belle and Sebastian? 
  It's time to VOTE OFF, the WEAKEST LINK!

<Jon Briggs> Statistically, Bob is the strongest link, having banked money 
and answer all his questions correctly, Isobel is the weakest link, having 
answered all her questions incorrectly and lost the team the most money, but 
will the voting follow the facts?

<Anne> Time's up... it's time to reveal who you think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM!


--------------------
(...To be continued)


Ken

_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: 
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+