Sinister: jeepers creepers

[shanny jean]

so, the other day i visited the doctor.  she told me to return when i was no 
longer in my Woman's Season for a pelvic exam.  she is sort of like the 
american-woman-doctor version of the crocodile hunter, except she is mellow 
and looks for "ovarian cysts" instead of "wild crocs."  same difference.  i 
am very very nervous about having tools shoved up my uteral cavity.  
actually, i am very very very nervous.

i keep imagining that i get there, spread 'em, and the following occurs.

DOC: (in a horrible austrailian accent) Holy crap!  Would you take a look at 
that one!
(she reaches in (up?), and pulls.)
SHANNY: Ow.
DOC: Well... ummm...
SHANNY:      .
DOC:  I think we're gonna have to remove it.
SHANNY:  ...is it really that bad?
DOC:  Well.  Umm.  Yes.
(pulls out a chainsaw.  that's okay, though, because it's Pink and says 
"Gentle" on it.)
SHANNY:    !!!!
DOC:  (Pulls chainsaw cord.)
CHAINSAW: Vroooooom!
SHANNY!:  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHAINSAW: <the sound of chainsaw breaking metal pipes>
SHANNY!!!:  @!!!!!!!!!!^!!!%#&)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!###
DOC:  There we go!  (Turns off chainsaw...)
CHAINSAW:  awww... (gentle)
DOC: (...reaches into my cavity.  pulls out a Tricylcle.)
SHANNY:           >!<
DOC:  (nonchalantly) That'll do it!  No wonder you felt strange!
SHANNY: (a bit sore) (rides tricycle home, dinging the little bell all the 
way.)


i am not a healthy girl.  poo poo.

love,
shanny jean

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