Sinister: Songs for idiots (round 3)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

(Previously, on Belle and Sebastian on the Weakest link...)

<Anne> Time's up, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM!

<Stuart> Isobel
<Stevie> Stuart
<Mick> Sarah
<Sarah> Mick
<Richard> Stevie
<Chris> Sarah
<Bob> Mick
<Isobel> Richard

<Orchestra> DUM!

<Anne> We have a two way tie team... Stuart!
<Stuart> Yes Anne.
<Anne> Why Isobel?
<Stuart> Well, It's because grrr I think I'm WAK-ING UP TO US!!
<Anne> ahh... so not voting in the interest of the team then?
<Anne> Isobel, why Richard???
<Isobel> Hehehehe he tried to bank when there was no money, and that's so 
silly!! hehe.
<Anne> But he answered all his questions correctly!  how many questions do 
you think you've got right Isobel?
<Isobel> hehe.. None.
<Anne> Correct!! Well at least you can count!
<Isobel> I did Chemistry Biology and Maths Anne.
<Anne> Did you have a calculator then when you were in school?
<Isobel> Yes Anne.
<Anne> Did you buy it from WH Bonaparte??
<Isobel> No Anne.
<Anne> Maybe you should have studied History instead.

<Anne> Well, when the votes are tied, the strongest link has to cast the 
deciding vote, so Bob, who do you want to get rid of?
<Bob> I have to stick with my original vote really so it's gonna be Mick.
<Anne> Well Mick, it seems that Bob doesn't like you very much, you ARE the 
weakest link GOODBYE!

* Mick does the walk of shame, blowing a raspberry at the camera

(..Inside interview room)
<Mick> Ahh, if I were sittin' at home I would have answered that question 
right straight away, but I just couldn't think when Anne was staring right 
at me.  Ack well I guess I won't be blowing my own trumpet in front of my 
friends for a while aye.

(..Back to studio)
<Anne> Round three, over two rounds you have managed to bank the PITIFUL 
£100 out of the possible £2000, and we're taking a further 10 seconds off 
the clock and we'll start with the strongest link from the last round, and 
that's Bob.  Let's PLAY.. THEWEAKESTLINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM...

<Anne> Start the clock

<Orchestra> DUM DUM!

<Anne> Bob, Queen's University is situated in which city in Northern 
Ireland?
<Bob> Belfast!
<Anne> Correct!  Isobel.  Scott Joplin was a famous composer of a particular 
kind of music known as Rag-what?
<Isobel> Rags that make me pretty by design!
<Anne> No the correct answer is Ragtime.  Stuart, what are the answers to 
the clues to the treasure hunt?
<Stuart> Not telling ya.
<Anne> No, that isn't the correct answer.  Stevie, in music production, what 
is the term used to describe the sound effect created by continuous echo?
<Stevie> Reverb!
<Anne> Cor-rect!  Sarah, if there is a train B that always leaves a train 
station exactly 10 minutes after train A, then if the time now is 8:30am and 
train A is due to leave in 20 minutes, at what time will train B be leaving?
<Sarah> It won't be leaving for a while.
<Anne> No, the answer is 9am.  Richard, which Squeeze single was released in 
March 1979 and was the first Squeeze single to have reached #2 on UK charts, 
held off the number 1 spot only by Art Garfunkel's Bright Eyes?
<Richard> Cool for Cats!
<Anne> Correct!  Chris
<Chris> Bank!
<Anne> The actor Rowan Atkinson played the character of a strange man in a 
hit TV series and a movie of the same title, the character in question is 
called Mr what?
<Chris> Beans!
<Anne> The answer is Mr Bean, but I'll accept Beans.  Bob..

<Orchestra> DUM... DUM... DUM DUM

<Anne> The time is up, and in that round you have beaten your own 
SPECTACULAR record LOW by banking only £20 pounds.  Who is witless in 
Seattle?  Who is the lord of the dunce?  Team, I URGE you to VOTE OFF the 
WEAKEST LINK.

<Jon Briggs> In this round Chris was the strongest link, having banked the 
most money.  For the third round in a row, Isobel was the weakest link, but 
will the voting follow the facts?

<Anne> Time's up, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM

---
(..to be continued)

Ken

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