Sinister: Songs for idiots (round 4)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

(Previously, on Belle and Sebastian on the Weakest link...)

<Anne> Time's up, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM

<Stuart> Isobel
<Stevie> Stuart
<Sarah> Stuart
<Richard> Sarah
<Chris> Stuart
<Bob> Sarah
<Isobel> Sarah

<Orchestra> DUM!

<Anne> We have another two way tie.  Stevie.
<Stevie> Yes Anne.
<Anne> Why Stuart?
<Stevie> Well I'm after Stuart and I don't seem to remember there ever being 
any money for me to bank.
<Anne> Stuart!
<Stuart> Yes Anne
<Anne> Why Isobel?
<Stuart> Becuase she was the one love of my life but she SHOWED ME THE ROAD!
<Anne> mmm riight.. Isobel, why Sarah?
<Isobel> Sarah was mean and in one of the albums she wrote a song about how 
someone must have put self-raising flour on my bum!
<Anne> They should have put some on your brain too.  Chris!
<Chris> Yes Anne!
<Anne> Why Stuart?
<Chris> He hid my beans the other day and wouldn't tell me where he'd hidden 
it!
<Anne> Has he hidden all your smart clothes as well?
<Chris> ...
<Anne> Well.  When the votes are tied, the strongest link will have to cast 
the deciding vote, and that's you Chris.
<Chris> I voted for Stuart but I think I'm gonna switch to Sarah, cos us 
boys have to stick together don't we?
<Anne> Oh!  Wellll Sarah, Chris doesn't want you to play because you are a 
girl, so you ARE the weakest link GOODBYE!

* Sarah does the walk of shame

(..Inside interview room)
<Sarah> I am appalled by the blatant tactical voting, Chris voted me off 
because he knew that I was a stronger link than him and he just wanted to 
get rid of me.  I hope he'd choke on his own beans.

(..Back to studio)
<Anne> Round four, you have banked £120 in your kitty out of the possible 
£3000, we're taking another 10 seconds off the clock and we'll start with 
the strongest link from the last round, and that's Chris.  Let's PLAY.. 
THEWEAKESTLINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM...

<Anne> Start the clock

<Orchestra> DUM DUM!

<Anne> Chris, when someone is disclosing a secret they might be described as 
spilling the what?
<Chris> Beans!
<Anne> Correct!  Bob, in sports, Windsor Park, the national stadium of 
Northern Ireland is situated in what city?
<Bob> Belfast!
<Anne> Correct!  Isobel, in Wrestling, one of the signature moves of "The 
Rock" is called the what-bottom?
<Isobel> Big Bottom!
<Anne> No, the correct answer is the "Rock Bottom".  Stuart, what are the 
answers to the clues to the treasure hunt?
<Stuart> Not telling ya.
<Anne> No, that isn't the correct answer.  Stevie, a trader who buys from 
producers and sells to retailers or consumers is more commonly known as a 
what-man?
<Stevie> Legal Man!
<Anne> No the correct answer is Middle man.  Richard, The Original West End 
Production of which Andrew Lloyd Webber musical opened at the New London 
Theatre in 1981, starring Elaine Paige as Grizabella, and Brian Blessed as 
Old Dueteronomy?
<Richard> Cats!
<Anne> Correct!  Chris, in cooking, black, chilli and soya are all different 
types of what?
<Chris> Beans!
<Anne> Correct!  Bob, in music, the lyrics "Deep inside my soul fights a 
war.  I can't explain, I can't cross over any more" was from a song by Elton 
John of what title?
<Bob> Belfast!
<Anne> Correct!  Isobel..
<Isobel> Wiggly Piggy Bank!

<Orchestra> DUM... DUM... DUM DUM!

<Anne> The time is up, and in that round you have managed to bank £100... 
whose sewing machine is out of thread?  whose IQ's below freezing?  It's 
time to VOTE OFF, the WEAKESTLINK!

<Jon Briggs> In the last round, Bob was the strongest link as he had banked 
the most money throughout the game, Isobel is once again the weakest link, 
but she did bank money for the team, will this fact save her from the votes?

<Anne> Time's up, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK!

<Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM

---
(.. to be continued)

Ken

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