Sinister: dear god, life ain't kind, people getting born and dying

[Joanne Hill]

I've not posted in a little while, but I think I need to today. My boyfriend 
Tim phoned me from England yesterday, I was so happy because he hasn't 
phoned for ages. But he had bad news, his mum died on Saturday. She was 55 I 
think. He told me he didn't know what had happened, they have to wait for 
the post mortem. As far as I know she wasn't ill. After a while I didn't 
know what to say to him, we sat there on the phone for ages not talking, he 
was crying. I felt crap for not being able to say something. I wish I could 
go to him, but he says I should wait til after my exams, and then I might 
fly straight home, I won't go to New York and Nashville and all the other 
places I planned to. I think Tim wants me to go back straight after exams. 
Anyway I'd feel guilty going off traveling. But I don't know what to do. 
I've never lost anyone I know. I only met his mum twice, stayed at their 
house, she was lovely. She was also full time carer for Tim's dad, he has MS 
and can't cope on his own, he's in a wheelchair. I don't know what's going 
to happen now. Tim has his finals next month, and he was going to go to Law 
School in September. Maybe he'll have to look after his dad. Tim's brother 
and his family live about 3 hours away, they've driven down to be with the 
others. It's just so...I don't know...she wasn't ill. I feel so useless 
here, I want to be with Tim.

Joanne

_________________________________________________________________
Surf together with new Shared Browsing 
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/browse&pgmarket=en-gb&XAPID=74&DI=1059

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+