Sinister: my chip shop-ing days are over

[Ben Apps]

Archel reminded us of the long lost art of the pastiche. This one has been 
gathering dust for a few weeks now:

The Loneliness Of A Middle Aged Goalkeeper

I'll take a second of the day to think about the goals that we’ve let in 
this year
We’re 3 nil down, the pouring rain, I'm in between the frog and railway’s 
sticks again
The full time’s looking colourful
It's the colour of pub lager and protection of an open goal
An open goal is wide on the field
Wide on the field
Wide on the field
'Til the posts come down.

The right back, Ricky, slates the opposition but it doesn't mean that we 
will show studs
There's a throw-in up the line, we'll pay the ref to add some time, and off 
we go (thud)
The full time’s looking wonderful
It's the wonder of the magic sponge and muddy pitches everywhere, no one 
cares
Oh, you care I know
You care I know
You care I know
Is it four nil or five?

(guitar solo)

On a soggy afternoon spent in dispute you'll give yourself a headache, ref
So he took my name for hauling down their bleeding striker and a pen he 
gave!

Have you seen the loneliness of a middle aged Goalkeeper,
When he stops the ball and looks around
Just like big Dave, He’s past it now
The ball hit the stanchion
Ball hit the stanchion
Ball hit the stanchion
Won't you welly it in?

Ball hit the stanchion
Ball hit the stanchion
Ball hit the stanchion
Won't you welly it in?



Take care. I'm going to play with my lego now.

Bapps

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