Sinister: Dear Catastrophe Waitress - Exclusive!!

[robin stout]

Yesterday a waitress gave me a mango. Inspired by said waitress and said 
mango I decided to have a go at working out the lyrics to Dear Catastrophe 
Waitress.


Dear Catastrophe Waitress
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Waitress, I love your knees,
Your earl grey teas,
Your chintz and gingham charms.

When I wanted spaghetti,
You came over to serve me,
Carrying plates all up your arms.

<<10-minute maracas solo>>

I thought, thought that you loved me,
When you gave me extra hot water with my pot of tea,
But what came next was a catastrophe:
You didn't give me spaghetti, no,
You gave me a shepherd's pie instead,
Yeah, a shepherd's pie instead.

<<Stuart reads a passage from 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe', over 
the sound of a dog being dipped into a bucket of paint>>

Dear catastrophe waitress,
I don't love you anymore,
Dear catastrophe waitress,
I want a refund.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++


I think this will be my favourite song on the album. Not so sure about that 
maracas solo, though. I blame Trevor Horn.

r x

ps: Today is Stuart Lee Murdoch's birthday. I've decided to bake him a cake 
and send it to him in an envelope. He'll love that. I think it must be 
sinister's birthday soon. Maybe we could have a party and hire a naked lady 
to jump out of a big cake.

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