Sinister: Just call me the Fire Extweenguisher

[Jay Eckard]

"That Mark Cassaratto is all class."
                               Eric Cheesybun

Dear Sinister:

   Oh my goodness! I leave for a few days and come back to have my eyebrows 
singed off by a flaming anti-Markelby(-being-anti-twee) post.
   Markelby for god's sake!
   Now, to be fair, I've never actually /met/ Mark so I can't say with 
undisputed certainty Mark is the above quoted All Class, but the quote does 
come from an undisputed source. I mean, most religious types get by with a 
lot less proof that god is Generally Quite Swell than I have for Mark being 
Class.
   BUT being a fine upstanding South'an Boy, I take to offense when people 
go shootin they mouth off 'bout people they don't know. I demand 
satisfaction! Be it pistols or swords, dawn works for me, Pais, but I don't 
recommend the blades.
  As for the rest of you lot, SHAME ON YOU for not rushing to Mark's 
defence, even if he is all butch and doesn't need it!

    (Umm. Just in case it needs to be said, the above is to be taken with a 
LIGHT HEART and HUMOUR. Judging from the firey posts, some have lost a bit 
of this.)

    As to being twee, all I know is that I took a test 
(http://www.howdoesitfeel.co.uk/) that told me I was 78% twee, which is 
"quite twee." And I may sometimes be quite twee, but sometimes I am quite 
fierce. So it balances out: "for every twee there is a Llew and a time to 
every purpose in Glasgow."

    Now, back to a much more proper post. I bring you, with only slight 
delay, from my Vacation to New York in which the much belov'd chantuers 
Belle and Sebastian some...

          ...INK POLARIODS!

***This is me, blinking in the early morning sun as I get in my car. It's a 
Little Red Car, a Neon in fact, which no longer has the pong of vomit in it. 
I'm not often up before noon, so I look dazed and frightened by the ball of 
fire glinting in the East. I have a good six hours of driving ahead of me 
and one very good mix tape with B&S, Camera Obscura, Le Tigre, the Yeah Yeah 
Yeahs and the Smiths.

***This is me, six hours later, stuck in standstill traffic in Maryland for 
no obvious reason. I stop from singing very loudly for a few minutes and 
grin as I realize Ben Affleck's place in God's Great Plan. He's in a movie 
-- The Sum of All Fears -- where Maryland is nuked. Ahh... the destruction 
of Ben and Maryland in one fell swoop. The Glory of the Lord truly shines 
through to me in this revelation. John, Schmohn. Patmos, schmatmos.

***This is me, running through the Brandywine Zoo. I've just been 
disappointed by the Bobcat (Who knew they were the size of a basset hound?) 
and am running up to see Jim, the Puma. Turns out Jim was dead. BUT there 
were Capybaras, the world's biggest rodent, and they are damn cool. They 
look like 100 pound guniea pigs. I realize later the absence of the otters 
could be explained by the fact there pen was next to these suckers. Munch 
Munch!

***Dusk in Prospect Park. I'm on the grass with my boots off, rubbing 
blisters and swearing I will never, ever move again. Ben Kweller is kwelling 
on stage and sounding a bit like Ben Folds before pubes.

***"Indiana Marple!" I have taken off my hat -- a rather smart straw panama 
-- and put it on Laura Llew's head. With her curls and wire frame glasses 
added to the hat, she looks like and odd fusion of heroes. I wonder if she 
will fight Nazis with teacups or use a bullwhip to solve murders in the 
English countryside. When Eric cries out the quote, I giggle for minutes on 
end. I am glad there's no milk around, as it'd come out my nose.

***Bubbles!! A flutter* of metros decked out in capri pants and tank tops is 
blowing bubbles during "Judy and the Dream of Horses." The bubbles catch the 
light as the breeze blows them around and every one is laughing.

***Laura's back. She's walking off with a boy. She seems to like him, but my 
Spidy Senses are activated. He had a weak handshake and that always bodes 
ill. And he's burly with the look of a man who's killed a wild animal in his 
life. I decided to keep an eye on him. But Llew Llooks happy.

***(Last one, I promise!) A torch on the water. It's a subway station 
somewhere in Brooklyn or Manhattan. A last minute train closing has left 
Eric slightly confused and dashing. Hobbling behind him a few paces, I turn 
around to look out over the water. And there's The Statue of Liberty. I grin 
to myself and have a sudden urge to run up and hug Eric when I realize I 
really am in New York. And with one of my favorite people. And it's after 
midnight.
   For whatever reason, I don't. It's late and we have to get to Queens, to 
see people and do things. There'll be time for mushiness later.**

Yours,
GayJay

* It's the new collective noun for CitiFags!
** Turns out, there was!

PS: Ian -- you're not the only one who thinks about Bel Ami. I think Frisky 
Summer Two is one of the great films of our Generation!


--
"The Posby falls into a Trance
In which it does a little Dance."
                     Edward Gorey

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