Sinister: titular for tatular + twee can be free

[Kevin Hyde]

Hi sinisterines and -ettes,


Even though I suffer from subheading anxiety, I'm going to dip my big
toe in the informative caps-lock marquee pool and give it a whirl, since
it seems to help with coherence in post. 


COVER ART AND WHAT TO CALL IT

Amazon versus, um...the other one (oh, MTV, right). Well, I wanted to
say this pretty much right away, but the cover pictured on Amazon
displays the Catastrophe Waitress (I'm guessing that girl is the title
chick) in such a nice and alluring way. If forced to admit it, I'd say
the CW is probably the most attractive B&S filtered-light cover lady.
Ever. I mean, heck, what guy doesn't love the hell out of the Tigermilk
girl (what's her name- Ciara or something?), but c'mon. Messed-up dark
hair? Drawstring pants? The CW is hot-a-tot-tot. The cover on Amazon is
just all sorts of orange-y good. 

So. What were the choices for the Sinisterization of the title? DICKWIPE
vs. DICKWANK? Something like that, I think. Well, OK. I'm not sure I
like either of those (at least not as much as I liked TWATTYBUS and
FISHYCLAP) enough to say them all the time, and since the only rules I
can extrapolate from those examples are that you indiscriminately insert
letters into the abbreviation of the actual title (sort of willy-nilly,
like vowels in hieroglyphics), I think I'll start calling "Dear
Catastrophe Waitress" DICKSAW. A useful tool, this DICKSAW. All the rage
for aspiring eunuchs and disgruntled wives. And it's just good
old-fashioned pop music, people. Pure pop. Like you couldn't get it this
untainted if you were to mainline granulated Britney Spears CDs.


OH MAN ANOTHER *$%#ING THING ABOUT THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC PICNIC,
WHEN WILL THE TERROR OF THIS EVENT STOP, IT'S AS IF THESE KIDS NEVER HAD
BEEN OUTSIDE IN THEIR LIVES AND ARE NOW JUST DISCOVERING HOW TO
MANIPULATE OBJECTS WITH THEIR ROUGH MOTOR SKILLS AND CRUDE THOUGHT
PATTERNS. 

I'm looking forward to it pretty hard, I have to say. Work has been
wearing me down, and I just completed a lengthy move from one end of
town to the other (which I'm going to say right now that moving within a
town is maybe more stressful than moving a long distance. Just think-
with the long distance, you can feel justified in getting a big truck
from U-Haul or Ryder or whatever and just pitching stuff into the hold
in the back. But with the short move, it's all do-it-yourself. And that
sucks.) and am right now enjoying possibly the best glass of iced tea in
my life. But yeah, D.C. picnic'll be hella tight. 

And oh, I think we're all 7 or 9 of us planning to report back about it
in extreme detail. I believe Kim's responsible for gathering the
meteorological data for the picnic day, and I'll be drilling cores to
get the pH of the soil and constructing a hydrological chart of the
groundwater, within a 12 mile radius. I wouldn't want anyone to think we
do our picnics half-assed here. Oh no, baby. 


I ALMOST WENT ON AN ILL-ADVISED RANT ABOUT 'TWEE' AND THE ROLE OF LABELS
IN LINGUISTICS AND LANGUAGE, BUT THEN REMEMBERED THAT PEOPLE WOULD
PROBABLY RATHER HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH A RUSTY RAKE THAN READ THAT. 

Twee. The only thing I've ever posted about it was confusion over the
phrase 'twee as fuck', which I overheard in a record store once, and
then waxed idiotically about on Sinister, only to have someone kindly
point out that Hello Kitty vibrators do in fact exist. Which is the
story of my life.

But good discussion all around, I thought. Um, until the very end there
where it got a little intense. Twee isn't used so much over here (in the
U.S.) as much as 'fey' is, and even that isn't that often. Not that I
want to start a fey debate. BELLE AND SEBASTIAN IS TOTALLY FEY, OMG!! IF
YOU DON'T SEE THAT THEN YOU OBVIOUSLY LACK EITHER TYMPANIC MEMBRANES OR
ARE JUST SUFFERING FROM A BRAIN PARASITE, RIBENA FOREVER!! etc. 

Not sure where I'm going with this. Hmm. Girl on the cover of DCW sure
is hot though, wow. 


ONCE WHILE DRIVING BACK HOME, I STOPPED AT A LIGHT ALONGSIDE A CAR THAT
WAS DRIVEN BY A MAN IN A CLOWN SUIT. DID I MENTION THIS WAS AT NIGHT?
AND I WAS ALONE?

Anyway. Just wanted to agree with G.Jay about the weirdness and horrible
design flaws in exit ramps that also serve as on-ramps. Do they want
people to die, as some sort of population control? I fail to understand
how the advantages for having these would overcome the sheer volume of
death that must be created each year.

Also, I fit a twin-size mattress in my car yesterday, and I would like
everyone to know that doing so is probably the exact same experience as
mud-wrestling with a lethargic hippopotamus. Which is to say, awesome. 



These were a recipe for disaster, 

Take care, 

Kevin

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