Sinister: London day 1

[Mark Brading]

So - here I am. My first post. Hello everyone.

For years (literally years - I've been here since 1999, on and off) I've
been wondering what my first post should be. There have been so many
fantastic ones, it seems imposable to do the list justice.

I'd always thought that some reporting back would make a good first post,
but I never managed to get a setlist for any gigs I went to, so I thought
I'd wait until I got one & report back properly. But this evening I got
one - for the first time. Trouble is, I lost it again almost immediately in
circumstances bubbling with surprise and sexual intrigue. I'll tell you
about them in a minute (a cliffhanger you see - that should keep you
reading).

But nonetheless, a setlist I had, albeit only for a few seconds, so here I
am reporting back, just like I promised myself I would. (Breaking promises
you make to yourself is the first step towards disaster and rack and ruin,
or so my mother used to tell me. Frankly, I have reason to doubt alot of
what she used to say ("don't do that, you'll go blind!"), but it seems like
good advice nonetheless).

I arrived around half six, and (after picking up a couple tins of refreshing
beer from the bar) positioned myself quite near the front. To get to the
very front you probably have to start queuing at about 4pm, and also not get
any beer. I'm happy with the trade-off.

People bustled in around me - including a very pretty girl with pigtails who
completely ignored me when I said hello to her, so I completely ignored her
back from the rest of the gig. Bet that showed her...

Scatter came on after a bit and were... superb, I thought... Unexpected
anyway; playing spoken word pieces which I didn't like at first but which
really grew on me by the end of the set. Certainly one of the better support
acts I've seen.

The guy standing behind me liked Scatter too. He turned out to be Jonathan
Skinner - which was cool. I felt like I'd met someone famous. It was nice to
meet you... Thanks for holding my stuff while I went to the toilet - I would
never have fought my way back to the middle if you hadn't...

There was about a 45 minute wait before B&S came on, which seems pretty
normal these days, but when they arrived it was well worth the wait. I can't
tell you the setlist, cos I lost it in a steamy close encounter (keep
reading), but I can tell you that they definitely played:

Expectations
SIMOB
Sleep the Clock Around
Slow Graffiti
Wrapped up in Books
You don't send me
Stars of track and field
Woman's realm
Stay loose
I'm a cuckoo
Asleep on a sunbeam
Stay loose
Dear Catastrophe waitress
You're just a baby

But not in that order, and loads more too. Stuart seemed in a really good
mood - in fact the whole band looked like they were having a really good
time, bantering with the crowd. Stuart told us how he liked to pee in the
open air, and Stevie said he'd once peed on the white-house lawn. All the
talk of peeing made me feel sorry for Jonathan Skinner's mate, who'd wanted
to go for a pee ever since Scatter went off. Should have gone during the
break, mate...

The crowd didn't dance much, but got really well into it, and dragged the
band back for two amazing encores. People had been shouting for LLPJ all
night, prompting Stuart to ask if there were any girls who wanted to sing
it. A girl finally went up and did not a bad job, once she actually stared
singing instead of making funny faces. It was very brave and she was very
cool - Stuart gave her a medal for it. They finally finished with Judy -
probably my all time favourite... so I danced a clapped and bounced and had
an amazing time. Fantastic.

I always wonder, at B&S gigs, why nobody ever reports back how beautiful
Sarah looks. I think Sarah's lovely - I always much preferred her to Isobel,
and she seems to be a fun person too. I hope she is. I think she's the
member of the band I'd most like to meet, given the chance.

As everyone left, I pushed to the front to see if I could get a setlist. He
had loads to give out, and he pushed one straight into my hand. I stood
there admiring it for a few minutes, waiting for people to leave, and after
a bit a very cute girl with freckles came up to me. (This is the bit you
have been waiting for, if you're still awake).

"Wow, you got a setlist", she said, "can I have it?"

She smiled at me so prettily I was about to say yes, but I glanced down at
the list for a few seconds to see if I could memorise it. "Oh please", she
said, "I'll give you a snog for it", and before I could say any more she
snogged me, right at the front of the Astoria (if my girlfriend reads this,
she jumped on me, and there was nothing I could do, honest injun). I was so
surprised just handed her the list, and with a little smile and a final peck
on the cheek, she skipped off with her prize.

So, whatever your name was, you could have had it anyway, but it's given me
a good story to tell.

And there we are, the longest dullest ever reporting back; the longest
dullest ever first post. But it's late, so hopefully I might have helped you
to sleep. I love reading sinister, do keep posting. Maybe one day I'll meet
some more of you in real life...

mark

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