Sinister: but there is a slide show and it's so slow, flashing through my mind

[miss lou]

hello sinister.

in latter days, i've made it a policy not to post in
such close conjuntion. or so soon after my last one.
or whatever you want to say. 

but tonight, i just sort of felt like it. and i had
some specific things to say as well.

for one, what's this business about kenneth chu NOT
liking breasts being rubbed against his body? has
something happened to him? if so, please email me and
let me know so i can send the proper condolences,
flowers, get-well wishes, etc. as soon as possible.

also.

for those of who don't know or remember mr. robert
baker, who has a new email and should be very glad his
prarie is chicago and not lincoln, you should. this
man has the most beautiful stories about legos you'd
never even begin to imagine.

***

i have realized, here at the newspaper now at 2:46 in
the morning on my second official all-night
book-reading and paper-writing odyssey of the
semester, that this will be my last ever such episode
behind this desk. unless, of course, something in my
very sketchy planning system goes wrong and i end up
here next week. but. for now. it seems that this is
the last, and i remember past nights like this.

i remember the last one actually, last semester when i
was scrambling to finish a comm law paper but mostly
just messing around on my blog. and the time before
that i was over in the arts section finishing a photo
story for my evil photojournalism class.

i wonder why it seems that even those times of hideous
homework and final assignments seem better than
tonight. it isn't really the work itself, i suppose,
more a sense of the time of those events, the other
life circumstances. and i won't go so far to say that
i was happier; in the spring i wasn't all that sure
how i felt about anything. but hindsight always lends
a comforting sense of settledness, i guess. things,
life, used to be simpler.

and perhaps this is the way it goes, and you move
through the proverbial ebb and flow until you learn
how to ride with direction.

i've been listening to quite a bit of music i haven't
listened to in years lately, and it's scary that it
was actually years ago that i listened to it. i don't
feel so old as it seems i should, but then, when i
listen to it, i remember how much i used to love
certain songs, how i used to write lyrics on pieces of
yellow construction paper and tape them to the door of
my dorm room. i miss that. and it doesn't mean i am
going to go home and tape up selections from robbie
williams to my door, but i suspect i will go home nd
wish i had a different home.

i am at another ending, and i am tired. i didn't sign
up for the newspaper's winter banquet this year; i
just didn't feel like dressing up again. because what
i really feel like is. well. i really feel like i want
some constant.

and i am not surprised that i do not know what that is
or would be.

***

i got a job today. currently, this post is being
written by the new personal secretary to the dean of
the architecture college, and possibly the future
official grant writer of said college.

so there.

i imagine myself in pleated skirts and oxfords, a
stack of project proposals in one hand and a plate of
cookies for my boss in the other, sashaying about like
a fucking queen.


xo.lou.



=====
www.somewhereinbetween.net

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now
http://companion.yahoo.com/
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+