Sinister: Queen Of The Underworld

[a.s.t.r.i.d at xxx.com]

I've always wanted to be that girl, but I'm not sure
what he means. Jesse Malin that is. Man, he really is
something. You should all listen to him, or I might
show up at every single sinisterbites house, dancing a
frightening
"Why-don't-you-buy-the-goddamn-record!"-dance. And we
don't want THAT do we?
I thought so.

I still really want to go to New York, I somehow,
subconsciously, am sure that if I go to New York for a
one week holiday everything in will be real fine.
Like, I will just happen to run into Ryan Gentles and
he'll say "Astrid! You are charming! I want to be your
manager!" and I'll say "Ok dude" and then I'll get a
record deal and be famous and loved by everyone. Er...
I didn't say that. That was wannabe-Astrid talking, I'm
sorry. Really, I want a very artistic and noir way of
doing things, I will always be a suffering artist. No,
I'm sorry. I lied again. I *do* want people to say
"Whoa, you really do rock". Who wouldn't? It's no fun
hearing that you suck.

Lately, it's alright down here with me. I'm quoting
again, oops. This is one of my more schizophrenic
posts, and I truly am sorry about that.

Sometimes I wish I lived in New York, or Great Britain,
or wherever that's big and not Sweden, because it feels
like then I'd find lots of cool kids to hang with, and
I'd find some nice boy that I could make mixtapes to
and we'd be kissing just for practise, and all that
twee business. There's a lack of those kind of boys
here in Sweden, you see. 

I'm not sitting here, writing a post admitting that my
lovelife is not the most exciting things on earth. No,
that would be stupid, since I could pretend that I had
tons of boys crying into their pillow at night because
they're all in love with me. I'm not admitting it. I'm
just, er, hinting.

But you can't blame me, because I always become like
this when it's close to Valentine's A-fucking Day. I
hate it. I really do. Sometimes I get swept up in it
and I think for a moment that I'll get a rose (I dunno
about other countries, but here, there are almost
always internal systems in the schools so that you can
send roses to people, anonymous or not) or a card from
someone non-family. It's all too depressing. I hate
that. Fuck that shit. 

I WOULD like a card or even better a rose, though. I
really would. Sigh.

Love sucks most of the time, because, at least for me,
it seems to make me fall in love with the most
untouchable boys. Not in the sort of most popular
boy-sense, but just that they'd never fancy me. Maybe I
haven't got a boyfriend because I'm too tall. Much too
tall for a boyfriend.

Now, all I have to do is push the send-button and then
you can all read these embarrassing confessions. So I
will do that, and then I'll be ashamed for a while, but
I'll be alright. 

All of you, do take care.
Luv and Pillowfights

Astrid x

Reporter: Spit or swallow?
Craig N: I like all birds. I think the eagle is my 
favourite. 

Aaaaaaw. That's just too sweet. Hee hee hee. 
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