Sinister: funny horror faces

[melanie laubach]

dear sinister people,

you probably won't know me, as i'm keeping quiet most of the time.
reading some of your mails makes me always feel....better : )

(inspired by astrid i'm also wearing a black cord today. and a blue 'pan
am' girlie tee. but i'll maybe swap that for the black afri cola (a 70s
record player logo) or just any plain one)

i have to pass a very important exam today. it's the zwischenprüfung,
some kind of exam you have to pass in the 'middle' of your studies. i'm
studying english, by the way. not to name philosophy (which is a great
and sadly not too funny joke) and yiddish.
well, the exam consisted of a written part -done last friday, but i'll
be getting the results only today. and i'm having such a bad bad bad
feeling about it....i guess i failed miserably. especially in the
vocabulary part. multiple choice answers for, well, really uncommon
vocabulary.
e.g.
doing this and that brought us to the ____ of ruin
a) rim
b) brisk
c) brim
d) fringe

i've never heard any of these words before. well sure, all of them mean
'edge' in a way.....well, i know a rim shot from drumming, but this
didn't help. apart from the fact i still haven't figured out what is
actually correct, i don't even remember what i've chosen. i think i went
for fringe.....
not to speak about the grammar, the idioms and the translation part. my
word. i can only remember that i wrote 'map' instead of 'folder', which
is a typically german and highly embarassing mistake in the sentence
'will you put the folder back on the shelf, please' this does ring a
bell... a certain song, doesn't it?!

well and today there is this oral exam. in two hours to be precise. wich
is just some kind of small talk with two teachers. they want to see if
i'm capable of talking with sb in english. and they will ask me
questions like 'what do you particularly like about your studies' (what
am i to say? i like having a lot of free time? i like working here and
theres besides university? oh dear) or 'have you ever been to britain or
america?' stuff like this. BUT maybe i won't have to answer any of these
questions as i maybe didn't pass the written part. they'll tell me the
results only in this oral exam! what am i gonna do when i've failed?
burst into tears right in front of them? or keep my jar clenched until
it's over.....they'll give me some kind of counseling then.
this is so dreadful.
i don't want to go there. it's horrible. it's frightening.
what if i failed? but i'll be in good company then, as they never forgot
to tell us 'even native speakers have failed'....and like 60% of the
students are failing.....
what if i didn't fail the written part and fail in the oral exam?
i want to pass this shit so i can forget about all that.

but there is hope: i'll be meeting the wonderful woman i'm in love with
later on. well, we are not lovers actually, but i'm working on that.
anyway, she'll keep me company. 'as long as you are by my side my dear'.

have you ever left milk (or tea or coffee with milk) in a thermos jug
overnight and then taken a sip? why is this so horrible? is it the
vacuum that makes the milk taste so disgusting? i always thought a
vacuum would preserve. but, right, i admit, there must have been some
air in there, too.

oh well, it's time to slowly leave....
have a nice day!

melanie

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