Sinister: This post will make you wish you didn't have eyes

[Laura Llew]

I, for one, am happy that GayJay is using his free time productively by 
writing fictional tales. I only wish that next time I'm involved it be 
embellished a little more. Perhaps with me having eyes which are a 
"beautiful cornflower blue that speak of Sunday picnics in simpler times" or 
putting me in a pair of "smart Manolo Blahniks" along with that 
sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss of mine. I shall leave it up to 
him though as I have complete faith in any boy who can turn a rain sodden 
New Year's Day meetup and the most innocent of pecks on the cheek into 
something so torrid, turgid, and tawdry. What else do you expect from a 
theater boy? Well, besides good coffee as that is what they spend most of 
their time making.

I now feel as if I should tell a little story of my own which I shall not 
entitle the albino dwarf and the princess.

A couple of months ago I met this boy. Now, don't worry he's not a *boy* so 
no need to worry that your eyes will start to glaze over as I weave a story 
about some dashing and charming young fool. In fact, when I described what 
he looked like to the aforementioned Jay I got the response of, "Sounds like 
... you'll be talking about Lord of the Rings a lot." Hee! Now, I've talked 
with plenty the cute boy about Lord of the Rings but to have a description 
that lends that response. Well, just rest assured that no swooning on my 
part was taking place.

Actually, to be honest I shouldn't even classify him as a boy as he is 
another breed entirely - a bartender. Aren't bartenders great? I mean I 
always end up falling for waitresses because I'm a sucker for anyone who 
brings me food so imagine my eternal love when it's booze which is being 
served. I have a special affinity for a certain cute bartender named Gordon 
in Chapel Hill. He tells funny stories like how he was being really really 
nice to Sleaze Boy Version 1.0 because he thought had MS. Then he just 
realized he was just really really drunk. Oh Gordon, I love you.

Anyway, back to my little hobgoblin. So, I met him a few months ago and he 
has started making me these mix cds - usually one a week. This naturally 
leads to discussions about music to which I name some bands that he should 
listen to, including our fair Belle and Sebastian. After such 
recommendation, he returns to me ECSTATIC with GLEE about how wonderful the 
group is. I was very happy and proud to have won a new convert. UNTIL, he 
gives me my latest mix in which he has put his favorite B&S song on. Do you 
know what it was?

BEYOND THE SUNRISE

To my credit I didn't spit in his face but talk about deep sorrow flowing 
from one's brow.

Le sigh,
Le Llew

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