Sinister: Changes and Sinister Blogs

[Dimitra Daisy]

Dear Sinister,

I decided to write you this letter while walking down a street. This might 
not mean much in itself, but if you knew me better, you might have guessed 
what I was thinking while walking down that street. Then again, maybe you 
wouldn’t. In any case, I was thinking about how things change. How they 
change a lot, unexpectedly and in funny ways -in both senses of the word 
funny. Everything seems unexpected even though I spend a lot of my time 
preparing for the future, and I don’t think I’m half bad at it. Still, 
reality is always different from what I’ve imagined. Different doesn’t 
always mean worse.

Different is a big part of life. Reality is different than your dreams, both 
those dreamed at night and those dreamt in the daytime. What turns out is 
different than what you had planned. That boy is different from up close 
than he looked from far away, when you dreamed of him. Even the places where 
you take your holidays in are different that you thought they would be. And 
if you’ve been there before, well, then they tend to change with time.

You change with time too. Sometimes people don’t notice. I know a girl who 
got angry at a house because it didn’t care. Other times, people 
misinterpret it. Often they get disappointed. This particularly happens if 
you’re in a band hundreds of people adore. Then, everything you do can be 
judged, and people aren’t very good at judging. Or maybe they’re too good. 
In any case they’re not very good at being content and happy. I’m getting 
better every day.

Things change with time too. Mailing lists, the internet, the way people 
express themselves. Hopefully the way people live, too. And I say hopefully 
because for me change has always been a chance for something better. When I 
was a little girl I would get excited every time the doorbell rang. The 
prospect of someone I hadn’t seen in a while coming to play with me and 
change that boring afternoon (or make that interesting afternoon even 
better) made me bounce on the bed a few times before running straight to the 
door. There, I would try to stand where my brother was standing, or he would 
do the same thing with where I was standing.

Since then the prospect of change has always been a positive one. Whenever I 
am about to move (and it happens quite a lot) I always think I am about to 
find my dream home and have a wonderful life in it. I haven’t even got close 
but somehow it doesn’t get me down. The dream of moving still gives me the 
strongest visions of happiness. In any case, it’s good to know you have 
within you the power to dream of such beautiful things. It changes can 
change the way you look at yourself.

Of course, a lot of the time reality lets you down. To be honest, it happens 
too often. It happens more than people admit to it. As the aforementioned 
girl said, the trick is not to take it personally. You are not what the 
world revolves around. Not even your world. Think of that: deep down, it is 
a good thought. It can be very liberating.

So a lot of the time things change, or turn out to be different, in ways 
that let you down. People grow up and, for a hundred different reasons, 
leave you behind. Your favourite band starts writing music that doesn’t 
effect your life the way it used to. And this mailing list is not what it 
used to be, either. People neglect to post –I do too- for a hundred 
different reasons. They have other people to write to, other places to write 
in and other things to take care of. Possibly secrets to keep, too.

It is often said that people don’t post to this list, because they post to 
these blog things of theirs. I thought it would be a good idea to make a 
list of them all. So if you have one, are –or have been- on this list, and 
want people on this list to know about it, could you please email me (OFF 
LIST PLEASE). Include your name, the site’s name, the URL, and, except if 
you’re feeling particularly uninspired and/or lazy, why you made it. Please 
do it even if I know you and your site. It will keep things easy.

Changes can be good, they can be bad, and they can just be different, but in 
any case they are going to happen. And what they are above all is, to me, 
surprising -and thus interesting. The world and the way it works never 
ceases to surprise me, and this is one of the things that keep me alive. 
Changes are less scary when you allow them and accept them. People –and as a 
consequence, the things they make- have their own lives to live, their own 
destiny to follow even. They say true love is that which accepts other 
people’s destiny, even if it means they’ll leave you.

Love,
Dimitra Daisy xx


~~~~~~
Meanwhile, the idea has left its home in the sky and it was travelling fast 
through the atmosphere of the planet... it landed on the bed, among us the 
empty cups of tea and the Lucksmiths, Sodastream and Magnetic Fields 
records.
  http://www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk/




_________________________________________________________________
Add photos to your e-mail with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. 
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+