Sinister: fair suck of the sav

[David Hewitt]

G'day all.

Terry Underwear (if that IS his real name...) said:

"I hope my clothes dry in time, else I'll be forced to use the 
environmentally unfriendly dryer."

Embrace the dryer. It is your friend. Admittedly, I live in a second-floor 
flat without a balcony or courtyard, so I have no choice in the matter, but 
seriously, clothesdryers are one of the things that keep us civilised. I 
once tried to dry some towels outside, and when I brought them in I had to 
get them wet again before folding them, as I felt sure they'd snap if I 
attempted it dry. Then, when I stepped out of the shower, and reached for a 
towel to dry myself with, I scraped off almost an entire butt-cheek in my 
dazed, half-awake state, before I realised that my usually soft and fluffy 
towel had been transformed into a giant piece of sandpaper.

Did you know that in the US they even have these little cloths that you put 
in the dryer, to make your clothes even softer and more fluffy than the 
dryer can manage on its own? Why on earth we don't have them here, I've no 
idea. We also don't have margarine in sticks - only in blocks or tubs (much 
to the annoyance of my American missus). They don't have Tim Tams over 
there, though, so I guess it evens out. Anyway: embrace the dryer, I say 
again to you, and let it rain!

Then he said:

"I have a strange sense of national pride building, and the reason for it is 
one Mark Philippoussis."

Admittedly, it's part of the Australian persona to be almost ashamed and 
apologetic for being Australian. Our culture, accent, history - everything 
embarrasses us. I'm not entirely sure why this is, as the more I travel, the 
more I realise how wonderful a place this truly is, and how a lot of other 
countries acknowledge this far more readily than we do. It's strange how 
sporting achievements seem to be the only acceptable cause for national 
pride for most people. Bung a couple of snags on the barbie and sink a tinny 
for me, ya beautiful bastard. Being an Aussie is fuckin' grouse.

Although I take no interest in tennis whatsoever, I do have to admit to also 
having been a bit caught up in the Poo's progress, since the wife's been 
staying up and watching it while I've been trying to sleep. I've taken to 
shouting 'carn the Poo!' at the screen at random intervals, which worries me 
somewhat. Normally the only thing that makes me shout at the telly is 
Neighbours. "Give Darcy the chair! The CHAIR, I say!"

He also said something about Belle and Sebastian, but what have they done 
for us lately, eh? Eh?

...

That's what I thought.

Anyway, I only really posted to piddle away part of the last hour's work for 
the week, and to voice my support for the humble clothesdryer - perhaps the 
most misunderstood and underappreciated of all the domestic appliances 
(except perhaps the tiny but mighty 'fuzz wuzzy', but that's a topic for 
another day). Still, the list's been rather quiet, so you can probably deal 
with the occasional rubbishy bit of fluff like this.

Oh, there was another reason: Happy 4th of July, Seppos!

Independence and all that must be a wonderful thing. Maybe we need to give 
the Queen a gold watch or something*, and thank her for her time, but tell 
her that there really isn't much left for her to do down here. Then maybe we 
could have barbies and fireworks and all that stuff in the middle of the 
year.

I'm not a remotely politically informed person, but I'm pretty sure there 
couldn't be too much harm in it. Plus, I reckon we could also do with one of 
those first amendment thingies. Still, all in good time, I suppose. The 
tennis is on, for one thing ;)

Bulk love,
-Vanilla Flavoured David

*I'd say 'carriage clock', and try to be all clever, except I'm not entirely 
sure I know what one is.

_________________________________________________________________
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