Sinister: i do the best immitation of myself

[Christine Irene]

hello my lovelies.  it's been awhile, yeah?  things
have been tre quiet round the sinister block of late,
i hope this is due to all of you being so happy and
successful that you just can't find time to write.

it's funny how things happen.  last weekend we had one
mutha of a family reunion.  i think there were about
180 of us in all...perhaps slightly fewer.  at any
rate, what would a family gathering be without crying,
upset, heartache and verbal jabs that only those who
know you well can inflict?  yes, there were plenty of
all of the above, but a lot of good came as well.  i
made amends with an aunt with whom i have been
feuding.  a different aunt told me that i have become
hateful lately.  i don't want to be hateful.  granted,
i think she was looking too deeply into some things,
but i was definitely being stubborn and petty.  so i
approached my aunt, apologised, she apologised, we
both cried and hugged.  now things are swell again. 
my cousin anne, it was brought to my attention, has
been feeling as though i was ignoring or shunning her.
 i was not doing either.  she and i had a lovely chat,
and again, i cried.....and we concluded that she and i
had no problems, it was a matter of our family trying
to instigate things that were just not there.
i am really glad that those events took place though,
as I feel better prepared to begin shaping myself into
the person i wish to be.

in other news; i had a nice chat with my uncle jim
today...he is amazing.  it began with my asking him
about some financial things and ended with this life
affirming "the problem with you speech" that really
made me see some things that i have pushed to the back
of my psyche of late.  he told me that i need to worry
about getting through school and getting a "career"
more than i need to worry about money.  and he is
right.  he told me that, while i may well have a
medical condition causing my digestive upsets, i am
also very depressed.  which is right.  he said that i
need to realise some type of potential because,
intellectually i have been given more than most.  and
he is right.
so now i sit here, knowing what i knew before, but
admitting it to myself, and someone else, for the
first time.  it's time to stop feeling sorry for
myself.  set a  goal.  focus on it.  get it.  don't
let anything get in my way.  etc.  

so i have a task list all set up (on my new phone and
everything....my old phone broke all the
sudden...grrr)  so anyway.  things to do.  call school
and be persistent about obtaining a place in the
course for fall.  call about debt consolidation. 
start exercising regularly again.  stop approaching my
finances with a "i'm never going to get out of this"
mentality and, instead, opt for a "this is going to
take some time, but i will get out of it" mentality
instead.  

so enough of that.  where have the regulars gone? 
dirty vicar?  ken chu?  the rachels?  mark?  it is
just eerily quiet round sinister.  see, those blogs
are bad for sinister.  i know that lots of people find
their necessary outlets via blog now, so there is
nothing to say to sinister.  hmm??

have any of you read "The Hipsters Handbook?"  it's
fun....i s'pose if you take it in the tongue-in-cheek
manner it is intended, all is fine. if you take it as
an "I must live my life according to these hipster
personality types" you will be a very one dimensional
person.  
only one mention of the belles...which surprised me a
little.  and it was a negative one at that.  in the
BIPSTER personality description under LOATHES...it
lists B&S.  hmm...  
i think, if anything, i am an amalgam of all hipster
types with some others thrown in.  hipsters don't like
prada.  i do.  hipsters don't like burberry.  i do. 
so i am a what then?  don't answer that.  :O)

ah well.  i hope that this finds all of you well. 
love to all of you.  extra love to the usual suspects.
 dv, ken, jinnifer, alex (are you alive?), chris cobb
(are you alive?),eoin, and anyone whose name escapes
me at present...oh yeah, rachel and ben fruitloop-apps
:o)

love,

~stine....a new woman

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