Sinister: Looking for work in all the wrong places

[Eric Brasure]

Hi Sinister.

I am looking for a job. I had forgotten how incredibly painful it is. You
sit for hours with a cup of coffee, the want ads, and a red pen, and go
through each ad hoping that you'll see at least one that looks mildly
promising, only to have your hopes dashed when you call the provided number
and are informed that the job was filled "this morning". I often think
they're lying when they say that, that the secretary is just doing her nails
or kicking a cat or whatever it is that people that answer phones for a
living do, and they're too busy to patch you through to the right person or
give you details on how to apply.

Looking for a job also involves driving to different places and screwing up
enough courage to ask the 16 year old behind the cash register if they are
hiring. After 1,258 negative responses you sort of go into a catatonic state
and drive off the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Haha! Just kidding, I would
never do that, because the car isn't mine.

So, in a vain attempt to keep yourself in cigarettes, you start looking
around the house for things to sell on Ebay. This is important, as it is the
duty of all jobseekers to Chain Smoke. You also start searching for foreign
currency that you could exchange. I have found exactly £3.13 which, barring
any unforseen commision, I could exchange for the sum of five dollars and
sixteen cents. This is almost enough for two packs of cigarettes.

The best part of all of this: I'm simply looking for part-time work to make
some money while I work on my dissertation. Funny, I haven't really started
work on my dissertation yet, because all my time is spent either a) looking
for work, b) complaining about looking for work, or c) worrying about money.
I anticipate my search for gainful full-time employment in two months' time
will be much more FUN!

But enough of this. Good things have happened to me as well. I went on a
visit to see Jay (a.k.a. GayJay or Jaylemurph) in North Carolina, where a
good time was had, even if it did involve several Near Death Experiences.
Also on said trip, I finally got the pleasure of meeting our very own Miss
Laura Llew, who was as sweet and adorable as I had anticipated.
Unfortunately for all concerned (i.e. ME) she wasn't wearing the Catwoman
mask. If she had been, I believe I would have turned all girl-liking and
swooned.

Also: has anyone ever attended a show in Prospect Park? I'm sort of wary,
because it takes places at someplace called the Bandstand at dusk. I wonder
if it's at all possible that this whole thing is a complicated attempt to
get as many twee people in one place at a time, then steal all their
money... come to think of it, I don't care, as I'll be safe from any
nefarious doings.

Time to go scour the furniture for change.

Love,
Eric

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