Sinister: Judy and the dream of Horsepower

[Retro^Sec]

hi sinister

I'm in a pretty filthy mood right now. Filthy as in
bad, rather than kinky, so don't get any ideas that
this post will be anything less of a rant and a moan. 

BANKS

Banks are gits. CAN anyone explain, why in the UK, it
takes days for a cheque to clear? I'm only asking,
becuase I was due to pick up my beloved car today. 

For those of you who don't know:
I passed my test, and bought a car the next day.
Bought, as in 

"I'll have one of those in red please, here's £100
deposit."

(You don't know how cool that felt to actually say
that. Some of you might object to the whole idea of
wealth, but y'know, still, being able to say that felt
good. Oh, I'm so ruled by money sometimes. I bet they
thought I was a prat in the dealers, but I don't care)

And then? then came the insurance. The company who
offered me the lowest rate, was Diamond, and I'm yet
to work out the catch. It was £500 less than what the
AA could find, and £300 less than the RAC. 
Then I had to get a loan, and get stroppy in a bank
when they were going to charge me for transferring
money to my other account. I threatened to close my
account altogether, so they let me off with it, and
did it all free of charge. I just don't understand,
why, in a world of computers and technobuffins, that
to transfer money I had to either:

1. pay £18 for a telegraph transfer (telegraph? a bit
19th Century, don't you think?)
2. Pay £2.50 and wait a few days for a bog-standard
transfer
3. Walk two miles with a cheque in my hand to the
other bank and wait five days for the cheque to clear.

Anyway. I got it sorted. And I got my loan through,
and now I have to wait a few days for that to clear.
But to pay for my car by cheque, I'd have to wait ten
working days, which I don't get, I wonder if they send
it half way round the world for everyone o have a good
look at it and make sure they agree. So I agreed with
my dad he'd pay for it, and I'd write him a cheque
later when my loan has cleared. I WANT MY CAR NOW!!!
anyway, complications have set in, and I'm not very
happy about it. Its taking all the romance out of
shopping, and turning it into something cold and cruel
and seedy. 

Second thing, I don't yet know if my car is a boy or a
girl, but either way it needs a name. I seem to be
veering towards a girls name at the moment, so it
might be a girl car. I have this feeling that we can
do this whole female bonding thing if it is a girl,
rather than risk a battle of the sexes if it is a
little boy car.

Names I've got to rule out include:
Ruby: A friend of my boss already has a car called
Ruby, and its the same colour and model. My car will
just be confused if she shares its name with another
car. 
Scarlet (as in o'hara): primarily because I keep
thinking of Miss Scarlet. While some of the boys on
this list might not object to being able to say in all
honesty "I ride Scarlet!", I feel my car needs a name
of her own, otherwise it won't be my car. I like
individualism.
Daisy: A name I had thought of, until my boyfriend
told me his parents old car was called Daisy, because
it made a moo noise. So that name has been taken.
Blossom: Powerpuff girl. Shes not as cool as Buttercup
but she has that red-head thing going on. But shes
just not the cool one.
Buttercup: Powerpuff girl. Becuase I want to be
Buttercup.
Milly: I liked it at first, then I thought of Milly's
cookies. So I thought that was a bit corporate. Might
as well call her Starbucks. 
Rose/Rosie: too many people with that name already. It
will distract me. 

I thought of calling it "Blue", for one reason that it
will just confuse people. "Blue the red car". But
then, there's only a rotten boyband called that, and
heaven help me, but I don't want that association.
Additionally, the kids TV show, Blues Clues.

I've also ruled out any name that is a reference to a
Belle and Sebastian song in anyway. And I won't call
her Belle either. I just feel that would be verging on
the overly twee to name her after a Belle and Seb
song. Like naming a car isn't twee.

I saw my car today, sitting in the parking lot. In
some ways, I was a bit shy to go over. She just looked
as if she was waiting patiently. I'm slightly glad I
didn't, becuase I don't want her to think I don't love
her and I'm having cold feet. At the same time,
perhaps that was a bit rude of me. Maybe she saw me
and felt I was ignoring her. I hope she will be ok.
We'll have a chat when we formally meet.

I was so excited, I even held the car keys. It was
quite a moment, really. Just sitting in the dealers,
with the keys in my hand. But in the end, I had to
hand them back, and that hurt. 

She looks very pretty, and lots of people have
complimented her appearance already. I know some of
you will think this is very sad* But its my first car!
a brand new baby! Shes going to take me to all sorts
of places. Another note, her numberplate is slightly
personalised, which is good. I misheard the lady on
the phone the first time. I thought she said SO EASY.
My car won't be easy! She'll be Secy. 

ANyway, time to go and fulfill the subject line.

love

idles


*approximately 99% of the sinister population agreed
with this statement, according to a BBC poll.













=====
<a href="http://retrosec.blogspot.com/">http://retrosec.blogspot.com/</a> thoughts

__________________________________________________
Yahoo! Plus - For a better Internet experience
http://uk.promotions.yahoo.com/yplus/yoffer.html
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+