Sinister: the worst B&S puns I could think of

[Hugo Johan <12813249 at xxx.za>]

dear list (or as people in "hungary, far away" used to say in their oh-so polite fan-mail: "dear liszt")
 
WHERE IS A CAVEAT?
 
oh dear, not only is this now very lame (which, face it, it was always going to be) but it also dreadfully behind the times (almost reactionary, ono might say, but then again, one mightn't - sometimes i just don't know). anyway, so if anyone was wondering, THERE is a caveat!
 
CHICK(s) WITH SPEED
 
first off, congrats to idles, who will finally get to rev her own motor - it's a precious day: savour it (and don't get caught doing anything your local traffic warden wouldn't!)*
i'm also due to get a new car sometime soon, and have been giving the matter of naming some thought. my conclusion (although i'm still wavering a little) is, yes: the TWATTYBUS! because not only will it make me think of the band, but of you, oh list (or, as mrs liszt used to say, in certain private moments...)
there are other reasons why this would be apt, demonstrating my grate eng. lit. skills in really getting to grip with subtext. the most smutty one is that, to a boy, a new car is certainly... A SEX-AID!!! (yeah, baby, yeah) and TWATTYBUS (for all we know, might be sinisterese for "passion wagon" - think about it. (now, reconsider the sub-heading, analysing possible ambiguities!) seeing as it's going to be rather a small car, it also has the appeal of irony, but that's beside the point.
 
*btw, is it true that a 26-year veteran ambulance driver is being prosecuted for speeding in britain... while delivering a transplant organ at 3am IN his ambulance? if so, it's a mad bad old world
 
FLOGGING A DEAD HORSE(power)
 
for further driving-song suggestions, how about:
 
a century of studebakers
my family vw
i fought in a car (the road-rage song)
i bought a new car
waiting for the lights to change
big cam shaft
me & the playa (for idles)
fox on the road (the road-kill song)
dog on wheels (ditto)
i could be speeding
loneliness of the middle-distance driver
 
NB if you have read this far... look back at the first section, and realize you only have yourself to blame.
 
ALL APOLOGIES
 
... that is, to fellow straight boys out there, since i seem to have managed to have shrunk our pool of opportunities. well, tentatively outing herself MIGHT just  been perceived as a kind way of breaking up, but there was a glint in her eye as the waitress brought our coffee... 
but there is a balance. at least balance has been restored in the cosmos, and by gad, aristotle WAS right: all things DO tend towards their natural state... 
 
ENDNESS
 
and contrary to what i'd heard, it DIDN'T end with a bang, and hardly a whimper. oh well, suchness is life.
 
hope you are all well, as always (or rather: hope, as always, that you are all well)
 
love and rocks
 
JohaN
 
ps. for those who don't know it yet, the friends of the heroes* R!A!W!K! - so does their journal. in order to make myself more clear, its G!R!A!T!E!
 
*mmh, through an unfortunate spelling error, i almost equated heroes of all ilks (what the hell's an ilk anyway!) with an unfortunate disease that can be gotten from kissing and such-like. for those with anglophone keyboard, note the proximity of letter 'p' to letter 'o'. 'nuff said, i think (i said: "nuf", natch... oh dear, i can see i'm digging myself into a hole... right, let's quit while i'm a head... that is, a &%$@head 
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