Sinister: Don't leave the GLAST-ON-BURY (geddit?)

[kenneth.chu at xxx.org]

Hey dudes,

LTNS* kittens.  How are we all?

So it's been, like, 14 days, like, since my birthday, and it's been fairly
good so far.  Enjoying my usual mix of a rock and roll lifestyle, daytime
job, fun stuff and bad things as usual, every bin has a silver liner innit.

---

And on the morning of my birthday (very early) the postman rang the
doorbell!  (well he actually buzzed the intercom, but it was a figure of
speech) and told me I had a PARCEL!  I was hoping it was a kissogram, but it
was instead a PLAYSTATION 2!  What a birthday present that was. :-D

And then later on the SAME MORNING, another postman came.  "Surely i'm
getting a SMOOCH now," I thought, but nope it was a recorded mail in an
envelope.  And I opened it and it was my GLASTONBURY 2003 TICKET!  Genius.

I felt like a birthday boy then, even though I did purchase both items
myself... and I got even more and better actual presents afterwards too
which made me dance like a dancing machine.

---

But I couldn't use either of the items until this week when first of all,
after months of putting it off I couldn't resist the urge to buy myself a
TV!  This urge, obviously had to happen at HALF PAST MIDNIGHT when
everywhere that sold TVs are shut, except ASDA, I couldn't go to ASDA at
half past midnight to buy a TV because only fools go to ASDA at half past
midnight, let alone buying a TV.

Half an hour later I arrived at ASDA, and the place was PACKED!  And the
first thing that greeted me was a stack of TVs!  I was after the cheapest TV
they have so these TVs didn't suit me, but they were tempting (TV cum --
hehe -- DVD for £119!  But my PLAYSTATION 2 already plays DVDs so that was
unnecessary), so venturing through the hordes of shoppers and further into
the shop, I found the aisle of TVs.

---

If I had 300 quid to spare, and a pair of very long arms I would have bought
myself that TV that's looked a couple of inches longer than that guy's cock
from "Boogie Nights".  Instead I got myself the cheapest telly of them all
(and it turned out the only one that would have fitting into the space I had
for it in my room), and took it to the counter.

I couldn't believe how many people were at the ASDA at (by then) 1 in the
morning, there were 15 queues open and each of them were packed, it was
crazy.  Luckily, the people with less than 5 items got waved on to pay at
the Cigarettes counter.  I looked at some of them with my accusative eyes as
if to say "Why are you getting your groceries at 1 in the morning?", as I
carried my 14 inch TV past them.

I acknowledged the fact that it was a funny time to be buying a TV to the
cigarettes counter lady, but she was very professional and said that they do
open 24-hours afterall.  Instead of offering me sex.

Instead of sex I played on my PLAYSTATION 2 all night (no that was not a
euphemism.. yes yes waggling your analog joystick blah blah haha DVD cum
entertainment system yeah yeah boom boom etc.)

---

If I go on anymore about my amazing purchases I might turn into idleberry,
so I'm going to talk about GLASTONBURY instead.

---

Well pants with your Thursday meet-ups.  Some people have IMPORTANT JOBS and
thus can't get a day off work on Friday (my job, whilst IMPORTANT, it wasn't
quite so IMPORTANT -- so I got a HALF-DAY off).  Hope you guys have fun
though.

I shall be on a field from before it gets dark on Friday on, you might find
me on late Friday night somewhere near the Pyramid Stage going

\m/

to possibly not David Gray and possibly to REM.  Or you might possibly not
find me there at all as there will be approximately 101092 people, possibly
going \m/ to possibly not to David Gray and possibly to REM.

I shall also most likely be going \m/ on Saturday night also near the
Pyramid Stage most likely to RADIOHEAD and FLAMING LIPS.

I also might be seeing The Frames, Beth Orton, Yo La Tengo, Delgados, and
others.

Also check out Acoustic Tent #324984 (i.e. our tent) for THE RED BULL DOZERS
live, singing possibly "Vindaloo" or "Ferry Cross the Mersey" whilst drunk.
Look for someone who hasn't cut his hair for a wee while..That's me.  I'm
trying to get the hippy look going in time for Glastonbury you see.  I've
been developing a fondness for hippies lately.

If you do want to meet up properly then give me an email and I'll give you
my moby-number innit (not MOBY'S number.. even though he'd be there too)

---

See yous soon!
Ken
* LTNS = long time no see - pronounced "littens"


**********************************************************************
This email is confidential and intended solely for the person or entity to whom it is addressed.  If this email was not intended for you please notify the UCLH Mail Administrator at mail.administrator at uclh.org.
This footnote confirms that the email and attachments contained no viruses when they left UCLH.

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+