Sinister: If you're fearing sinister

[Christopher in a Tutu]

You talkin' to me, Sinister?

Ah, well, good- Hiya everybody! It's me again, back by
unpopular demand. Me, being Christopher James,
sometimes called Chris F, le Christophe, sometimes
called 'you can turn that off for starters.' And the
reason he is not cjf111 today is parce que i am on
holyday, for close to six weeks, they call it a
revision break, i call it a waste of taxpayer's money,
hehehe. Today for example, my 'revision' included
sweeping the carport and then going to the library and
renting three cds for two weeks for two pounds in
total. Rental purchases included the Von Bondies, Beck
and Ben & Jason. These purchases [and the
sweeping....and the posting] make me feel like i've
had a productive day full of toil and trouble. The
trouble involved counting the scallies in town
[Stourbridge, by the by, that's where i live, if not
in York. in the archives there is but one mention of
Stourbridge. I say more Stourbridging is needed
people] However, i soon realised that this hobby
(counting scallies) should best not be undertaken
whilst driving, i posed a veritable liability, what
with the throbbing number-crunching in my poor head
and the traffic queues of revvin' Kevins, pushing down
on their gas pedals menacingly...

.....Today in the library i surfed my way to the
realisation that there is a meeting! in London! in
April! Now, i would dearly like to go to this two day
extravaganza of nicety, yet in the pits of my loins i
have a nagging doubt. It's hard to pinpoint why this
doubt exists- shyness? Oh, not so hard to pinpoint,
after all. So yes, i have some naggin' goin' down in
the 'hood. This nagging consists of being frankly
scared out of my wits over the fame and celebrity that
encircles certain Sinistereens...i mean, Ken Chu?
Archel? who are these people? They are in my
sea-coloured eyes celebrities, untouchables. And me,
just a small dot on the horizon of twee.
Aforementioned folk are to me the monopolisers of
twee, the corporate giants, and so on and so on.

And the nagging persists- it says unto me 'But
monsignor Chris, these people won't care or even
notice your existence if you take your little self
along to London in April weekend. Cos they are
*famous* and already too fawned over and curled up
into their quarter circle niche markets of quarantined
dominance to accept any newbies.' Yes, my nagging was
never too cogent. 

So, what, am i wong? I sincerely hope to be proved so.
Surely something as simple and natural as going along
to a meet-up of people with a passion and introducing
oneself and sitting down and bowling [hmm, both at
once?] and conversing casually with like-minded
folkies is too improbable a task. But then why should
it be improbable? 'It isn't, it isn't!' i can hear
most of you tut under your collective breath. Is it my
negative outlook that i always expect there to be rain
when it is sunny, that i always expect my toast to
land butter side down, that i expect there to be some
exposed label on the reverse of my jacket if i haven't
first checked, that if i think im going to trip over,
i invariably do..... Is this outlook catalysing the
nagging? the shyness? Am i alone in having these
'fears'? i mean, why, they aren't even proper FEARS,
not  like a fear of death or destruction, or the fear
of biting into an apple and finding a razorblade. They
are proper FeArS. Hell, apparantely there's a war on!
But to me it IS a fear, and i was wondering if other
relative newbie Sinistereens did have a comparable
'fear'. If so, we could maybe start a group, 'FearSoc'
or something: 'not for the faint-hearted'. Tho i think
id be too scared to go.

So, must stop starting paragraphs with 'so', makes you
sound unsure. So, what now, i guess i am hoping for
someone to take me by the clammy hand and say 'It's
alright to be slightly nervous, it's a big thing,
one's first meet-up, but relax, everyone's scared to
some extent, they just don't show it....' and i think
this would cheer me up no end. In such an event i may
conduct tests to prove that my toast lands butter side
up....'revision' is an abstract thing, you see.

Thanks for getting so far

Le Christophe James F

xx

...................................................
"Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's"

__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Platinum - Watch CBS' NCAA March Madness, live on your desktop!
http://platinum.yahoo.com
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+