Sinister: No one would believe me. Then.

[a.s.t.r.i.d at xxx.com]

Hello people,

long time, no see. Hope you're all ok.

Lots of great stuff has happened since the last time I
wrote. I've met The White Stripes for instance, they
were super nice. And Jack was really good looking, for
a boy. Eh. Yeah. He was gorgeous. And Meg was really
sweet. 

Other from that, I recieved an e-mail from Stephen
Chbosky (author, one of my absolute favourites) the
other day too. He wrote the most beautiful e-mail I've
ever recieved, or rather, the most beautiful WORDS
anyone has even written about me. Oh my. 

I've been in contact with Shirley Lee and Wiz Kid
Management too. Cool stuff.

Fuck. I turned into a namedropper. I've always despised
them. 

Anyways. I was out wandering about in the big forest
surrounding this huge mountain outside my appartment
building a couple of days ago. And it was just so
painfully beautiful. Everything is green now, and I
love that. I mean, in the summer, everything is equally
green but spring shows every shade of green that you
could think of.

But, as another sinisterbite pointed out a while ago,
spring also seems like the invisible invitation for
overweight middle-aged balding men in khaki shorts to
take off their shirts. I saw one just the other day,
and that was during a walk when I saw about five
people. So one out of five in that area are that kind
of men. It doesn't matter how many they are, every
single one is equally unpleasant to encounter. Hrrrr.

I'm going to a crazy woman soon. Well, I'm the crazy
one, really. It's one of them phobia-psychiatrists. My
mum is paying her good money. And we don't have a lot
of money. And my phobia is so stupid that it's alsmo
amazing. I'm afraid of... wasps. Little, striped,
innocent wasps, for you maybe. Evil, aggressive,
darkminded wasp-fuckers for me. I HATE THEM SO MUCH!
Today, the plan is that I'm supposed to spend some time
with a wasp. Get to know him, his interests. Well no,
but the spend some time thing was true. Apparently, the
body doesn't calm itself down until after twenty
minutes. AH! I spend as little time as possible with
wasps. They're so awful. I can handle small spaces. I
can handle clowns. Well, they're a bit fucked-up and I
wouldn't want to meet one in an alley on a late night,
but then, who would? I'm ok with dogs, and I'm ok
with... er... yeah.

But I'm not the freakiest one though. You can be afraid
of tons of things. For example (these are real phobias):
-Fear of the colour white
-Fear for ugly people (...)
-Fear for people who've amputated something
-Fear for really long words
-Fear of flutes (!)
-Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your
mouth (Well just DON'T EAT IT THEN!)
-Fear of food (I think I've got some sort of
anti-phobia to that)
-fear of memories
-fear of bald people

to name a few. I'm sure they're real troublesome to
have. AH. I feel very sane right now, how lovely.

I have to go now because I'm going to be late for my
meeting with The Wasp otherwise. Urgh. I have a
stomachache out out pure nervousness. If it's called
that.

Well, take care and look out for wasps.
And that might be the last time I'm saying that.
(Wohoo)

Astrid

P.S I will meet my first sinisterbite in June, maybe.
He's called Anders and he's from Oslo, Norway and he's
great. Yay!

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