Sinister: Can everyone put away their crayons please

[mummy i've grazed my knee]

Don't you ever just want to draw on the walls lots? Not proper drawings,
just scribble, all over the show. Yum

I haven't been around these parts for a very long time, but today I
finished my degree, so I thought I'd celebrate by catching up with an
old friend. I only got 2 hours sleep last night because I was very
nervous, so please excuse the appallingly crass, abrupt and generally
nonsensical nature of this e-mail.

POOEY BOTTOM

Oooh! Have you ever been so excited you don't know what to do with
yourself? I've worked solidly, day in, day out for the last ten weeks
and now I'm free I feel a little lost and confused. I've forgotten how
to do nothing. I wrote about God today - it seemed a suitably fitting
subject to end my 17 year endurance of the British education system on,
but the conclusion to the last essay I will ever have to write was a
rather lacklustre shrug of the shoulders and heavy sigh rather than some
insightful theory on the nature of religious inclusivism. Now I've
worried myself.

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN

I had banned myself from listening to them for the whole of last term
because the music made me too happy, and being happy is never conducive
to a good work ethic. I look forward to a dance in my room this evening.

I haven't read sinister for ages, I hope I don't start a horrid trend
here where everybody posts and nobody reads. What's going on with the
shiny Betamax? I read that it is out in the States on 17th June. Do we
get it here? I don't have one of those shiny Betamax players though, so
I'd just have to try and watch it using a gramophone or something.

SINISTER AND SURROUNDING VILLAGES PARISH NEWS

I've heard on the YSM grapevine that there are lots of new people moving
in to the stylish semi-detached estates in the north east corner of the
village, and lots of them come from far away. This scares me. Not
because they're new, that's grate, but because I can't cope with change.
I didn't want them to build in the field next to me, but when they did
and I saw that all the nice new people had moved in, I felt a grate joy.
It's difficult to leave your old cardigan behind sometimes.
Do people still use headings, drink Ribena and spell grate like that?

YSM

I'm sure that the York Sinister Massive must make this the most twee
university in the whole world and that's nothing but nicely grate. Next
year, I get to take over running the twee university because I'm
President of our Students' Union which is possibly the most scary thing
in the whole world. I'm only 21 and I've got a budget of half a million
to look after, about 40 members of staff under me and a say in how to
run a university. I'm really frightened.

This e-mail is turning rubbish, it's all about me and that's not very
interesting

How are you sinister? You should call round for some Ribena later and we
can catch up. I particularly like the apple flavour one. I know it's a
bit nouveau and all, but one has to live a little.
I've missed you. Let me never leave you alone again.

Chris Jones.
xxxx

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