Sinister: I don't need beer goggles, but I wear them anyway

[Gardiner, Stuart]

Well well. The last few days have seen a return to Classic Sinister (TM). As in, lots of reporting back, smutty puns, in-jokes, and a completely unintelligible post from Mr Gillanders. More. Onwards.

As has been pointed out before, I've been on this list for far too long, and really should go out and get a life. Six years. It's just not in my character, you know. The fact that this summer marks eight years since I became a student, and I still haven't got round to getting a proper job, has nothing to do with it. Onwards.


GLASGOW

It's a place in Scotland, you know. So of course it was going to rain all bloody weekend. Still, it provided an excuse to forget this whole pretence of having a civilised picnic in the park, and just go to the pub instead to watch the football and get drunk. And Everybody was there. If you weren't there, you just don't count. Sorry. And if you were there, chances are by the end of the evening you were incapable of counting. There was much talking, much laughter, and much more drinking. What more do you need to know? Nothing. Onwards.

There was a gig later of course. The Delgados sounded half-decent; they might have sounded fully decent if I'd made it in time to see the first half of their set. The Mull Historical Society sounded grate from the TV in the bar, because nobody could be bothered to watch them. And because they didn't see alcohol inside the hall. Belle and Sebastian sounded, but not for as long as we would have liked. Stupid curfew. Richard wasn't gurning as much as normal behind the drum-kit. Stevie looked the epitome of cool, until he sat down behind the keyboard, which was set at the right height for the considerably shorter Chris, so Stevie ended up looking like a schoolboy trying to learn the piano. And Stuart looked, well, silver. To be honest, I spent the first half of the set hoping I wouldn't get hit on the head by the boom camera which was sweeping alarmingly close to my head; and the second half of the set realising that having that many pints isn't a good idea if you're going to be!
 standing up for an hour without being able to go to the toilet. Still, it was fun. Onwards.

I hate name-dropping, don't you? So I won't talk about chatting to the delightful Sarah and others at the after-show party. Onwards.


MORE CONTENT

A reliable source tells me that the band are hoping to get the new album finished in time for it to come out in about October or November. But hey, this is B&S we're talking about, so I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you. Whenever it does end up appearing, there will be a proper tour to accompany. The same reliable source also solved the mystery of Roy Walker - no, the song isn't about the grate Catchphrase presenter. It originally had another name, but a mis-hearing occurred within the band, and the new name stuck. Unfortunately I was rather drunk at the time, and can't remember the original name - I think it might have been Day Walker or something along those lines. I was onto about my twenty-third pint of the weekend by that point, and concentrating very hard on not doing anything too embarrassing, so you'll have to excuse me. Onwards.


NUL POINTS

Hey, someone had to bring it up. The most comical event of the year so far. A moment to be proud of. In years to come, people will ask where you were when the UK scored nul points at the Eurovision Song Contest. Was it because of a backlash from the Iraq war? Was it because there were technical problems on stage? Or was it just because the song was crap? Either way (can you say 'either way' when there are three options? There's a problem for all you grammar fans out there...), it was bloody funny. The only people I feel sorry for are the ones playing the Eurovision drinking game who drew the UK out of the hat. Of course, the way to win is to belly-dance to a song nicked wholesale from Shakira's 'Ojos Asi'. It's so simple really.  Maybe we should all club together to persuade B&S to enter next year? After all, it we can fix the voting so that they win a Brit award, we should be able to fix the voting for Eurovision as well. Onwards.


I LUV HEADINGS. THEY'RE G!R!A!T!E!.

Onwards.

Big Stu



Sinister - where the women are beautiful, and the men aren't fussy.
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