Sinister: From Gary
Mark Casarotto
boyincorduroy at xxx.com
Tue Nov 11 12:11:02 GMT 2003
This email isn't from me; I'm forwarding it to the
list at the request of ex-sinisterine Gary Maher.
Enjoy. I did.
_______________________________________________
The Dynamics of the Extra Belle & Sebastian Ticket -
NYC 10 Nov 2003
It's always interesting when you show up with an extra
ticket for a
concert, but the dynamics of an extra ticket for a
Belle & Sebastian
concert have the potential to create even more
interest.
Of course, I was disappointed when my wife decided her
cold was so
severe
as to preclude her attendance. It was ok, I told her,
because we have
tickets for the following night's show, and because I
was sure I could
find something to do with her ticket.
So I set off for the wilds of New York City with my
extra 10th row
ticket. My plan to arrive early to dispose of the
ticket quickly
evaporated (as all my plans to arrive early seem to
do), and I walked
up
to the front of the Town Hall theater at precisely
8:00 p.m. I briefly
canvassed the scene: There was no line at the ticket
window, but the
show was not sold out. It appeared that I was the
only one who had
come
there alone everyone else was in groups of two or
four or eight or
more. Worse, everybody seemed to already have a
ticket! My only
option
seemed to be to station myself outside the box office
and wait for the
right person to come along.
At about that time, the first disturbing thought of
the night entered
my
head: Just who was the right person I was waiting
for? I mean of
course
what TYPE of person was it? Obviously someone alone
without a ticket,
or
possibly someone without a ticket accompanied by
friends with tickets.
But beyond that, who?
Perhaps a tall, shapely woman with model looks? Too
obvious. Plus,
I'm
very happily married, so whatever would I do with one
of those? (She
didn't come around, anyway. Probably better that
way.)
How about a short, shy, homely thing who was almost
too afraid to
venture
out of the house but was propelled to the show by her
obsession with
Stuart (or was it Sarah)? Shouldn't be any shortage
of those at a B&S
show, right? (Just teasing; you are all beautiful and
I love each and
every one of you. XO.) I dunno, I just didn't feel
that charitable.
I
mean, this person was going to be sitting next to me,
and I kinda
wanted
someone I could relate to a little bit. I was there
alone, after all.
A guy, then? But what if he assumes that I am as
shallow as the next
person (I'm actually as shallow as the guy standing
behind the next
person, over his left shoulder, with his internet
browser permanently
tuned to ratemyface.com) and decides that I'm only
giving him the
ticket
because I find him attractive. Otherwise, why
wouldn't I give the
ticket
to the tall, shapely woman with model looks? (He
obviously doesn't
realize that she has other plans tonight.) If he's
gay (unlikely at a
B&S show, he snarled sarcastically), that could make
things
uncomfortable. (Remember, he's sitting right next to
me all night.)
If
he's straight, and he thinks I'm interested in him, it
could be even
worse! (We straight people are so closedminded!)
OK then, it's going to be a girl somewhere between
model gorgeous and
butt ugly. That narrows the field.
It's 8:05. I can hear through the doors that the
opening act, My
Favorite, is playing. I really wanted to catch their
set, but I have
this ticket to deal with. So I wait.
There's a girl approaching alone oh wait, there's
her girlfriend.
What
about that one? Oh, she's with two guys. They all
have tickets
anyway.
Isn't this thing sold out yet? I check at the window.
They still have
10 tickets. Sigh.
I make a mental note to remember not to give the
ticket to anybody
without first making sure that they are a fan and not
a ticket scalper.
I have wasted extra tickets before by giving them to
someone I thought
would use them, only to find somebody different
sitting next to me once
I
got inside who undoubtedly paid $100 apiece for them.
But how am I to
make this crucial assessment? Should I ask her to
name a member of the
band? Too hard, I think. Are any of their names even
on the first
three
records? Better make it a song title. Ask her
favorite, that'll do.
8:10 and I strike up a conversation with this girl who
is wandering
around in front, thinking she might need a ticket.
Turns out she also
has an extra ticket, which she is trying to sell. I
tell her I was
going
to give mine away rather than sell it, because my
sister's friends were
tackled by the police outside a U2 show at Madison
Square Garden
because
the cops thought they were selling their own tickets,
and they missed
the
show because they spent the night at the police
station. (True story,
although I've often wondered if they actually had some
contraband in
their possession and told the ticket story to avoid
parental wrath.) I
briefly consider asking her to sell both of her
tickets, split the
money
with me and come sit with me in the 10th row, but how
can I ask her to
do
that after the story I just told? We exchange good
luck wishes and go
our separate ways.
At about 8:15, disturbing thought number two occurs to
me. In a flash
of
evil brilliance, I come up with the deranged scheme of
finding a couple
without tickets and offering them my ticket, but only
if the girl will
ditch the guy and sit next to me. Kind of like that
movie Indecent
Proposal, only without Demi Moore and all the money.
I laugh at my own
diabolicalness and dismiss the idea as impractical.
How would I
enforce
it? What if she engaged in the selfless act of
turning the ticket over
to her guy? Then I've got this guy sitting next to me
after I tried to
entice his girl away from him. Awkward, and
potentially painful!
8:20, still tickets left at the box office. I'm
obviously going to
miss
most of the My Favorite set. I briefly consider
giving the ticket to a
scalper just so I can get it over with and go inside,
but I can't bring
myself to do it because it will mean that some fan
will have to pay
some
outrageous price for the ticket. I shouldn't let my
laziness cause
such
an inequitable result.
Maybe I should just give up and walk inside with the
extra ticket,
putting it to death. It would be nice to have
someplace to put my
coat.
Aargh I can't do that either! I derive all of my
power tonight from
this little scrap of paper in my pocket and I can't
murder it!
At about 8:25, I return to the box office to see if
the show is sold
out.
They are down to the last couple of tickets. In a
bold move, a
scalper
is actually in the box office trying to peddle a
couple of $25 tickets
for $50 each. I'm standing next to him listening to
him make his pitch
to these two girls. They hesitate, so he turns to me
and asks if I
need
a ticket. I tell him he doesn't want me to answer
that right now. He
asks why not, and I tell him he'll have to trust me.
He persists, so I
tell him in a loud voice "Because I have an extra
ticket I'm trying to
give away for nothing!"
A girl on the other side of the box office hears this
and comes over.
She appears perfect for the ticket female,
unaccompanied, and
somewhere
between model gorgeous and butt ugly, more towards the
former end of
the
spectrum. "Are you serious," she asks. "Sure. Do
you need a ticket?"
"Yeah, I came down without one hoping I could get in,"
she replies.
"OK,
here you go." I hand her the ticket. "Really?" she
asks. "Yes," I
say.
"Enjoy the show!"
And then I remember my litmus test: I forgot to ask
her her favorite
B&S
song. So I literally grab the ticket back from her
hand and say, "Wait
a
second. What's your favorite Belle & Sebastian song?"
By now, we've drawn a little crowd, and they are now
oohing and
laughing
over my question. The girl stammers for a good while
and I start to
fear
maybe I have the wrong person. She finally manages to
blurt out "The
Boy
with the Arab Strap". Relieved, I stick the ticket
back in her hand
and
say "Have fun."
As I'm walking out triumphantly, she tracks me down,
introduces herself
(Michelle), asks my name, and thanks me profusely.
Which triggers
disturbing thought number three: What strange sort of
relationship
have
I just created? Does she think I now expect something
of her, having
bestowed this gift upon her? And do I indeed expect
something of her?
OK, I'm going to have to watch that, as we are going
to be sitting
together, and be careful not to send the wrong
message.
We enter the theater together and she heads off to the
restroom. I
grab
the new My Favorite CD and find my seat. I catch
their last two songs,
which are very good. They're somewhere near the
intersection of Joy
Division, Echo and the Bunnymen and The Smiths, with a
pretty girl
singer. (There's much more to them than that, but
that's what I heard
in
those two songs. I told you I was shallow.) At the
intermission, I
pick
up a few B&S stickers and check out the old theater,
legendary for its
jazz shows, many of which have been released on
record. I make my way
back to my seat. Michelle is nowhere to be seen.
Perhaps she thinks I
expect something of her and is uncomfortable sitting
next to me. That
would be a shame.
A little while later, this guy comes up to me and says
he thinks I'm
sitting in his seat. I look at his ticket and tell
him he's in the
same
seat, but in the next section. A minute later,
Michelle appears. She
was in the other guy's seat by mistake! I tell her
she could have
named
any B&S song and she would have gotten the ticket. We
talk about how
we
don't know the names of songs anymore the way we used
to when we were
younger and had time to read all of the liner notes.
We speak briefly
about our appreciation for B&S. She was introduced to
them not too
long
ago by someone at work. I've been into them since
1998 and missed them
the first three times since then that they came to
NYC, so I'm seeing
them three times this year. I start to tell her about
the Brooklyn
show,
and the lights go down.
This show was even better than Brooklyn, which I
didn't think was
possible. The new stuff is just incredible live, the
vocals are
breathtaking. There were plenty of oldies for us old
people. Stuart
brought this wonderful girl Debbie up from the crowd
to sing. She
chose
Lazy Line Painter Jane, and she was so amazing that
she brought the
house
down. She also cajoled us into rising from our seats
and dancing for
the
first time all night. We were all so very proud of
her, even though we
didn't know her, because she was up there for all of
us. (If they pick
me tomorrow night, I will make them sing Little Red
Book the Love
arrangement. And I have to remember to tell my wife
Dana "Happy
Anniversary" from the stage, as November 11th is the
9th anniversary of
our wedding.)
About an hour and a quarter into the show, Michelle's
cell phone rang,
and she said she had to go because she "got a call".
She again thanked
me profusely. We hadn't chatted much, probably due to
our mutual
concern
over sending the wrong message, but she definitely
seemed to enjoy the
show, thankfully, so it seems the dynamics of the
extra Belle &
Sebastian
ticket all worked together in perfect harmony to bring
about a happy
ending for all concerned.
If this were a hollywood movie, the final song tonight
would have been
The Boy with the Arab Strap. (Remember that was
Michelle's favorite
song.) Instead, it was Get Me Away, I'm Dying my
favorite B&S song.
Karma? You decide.
Gary
------------------
Here's what they played tonight, 10 Nov 2003 (NOT IN
ORDER EXCEPT AS
NOTED):
1. Slow Graffiti
Step Into My Office
Travellin' Light (as spelled on the set list)
If She Wants Me
Piazza
Asleep on a Sunbeam
You Don't Send Me
Wrapped Up in Books
Stay Loose (GREAT!!)
I'm Waking Up To Us
Seeing Other People
Lazy Line Painter Jane (introducing Debbie on vocals!)
Dog On Wheels
Expectations
You're Just a Baby
DD#2
Beautiful
Roy Walker
Enc #1 - Sleep the Clock Around
Enc #2 - Get Me Away, I'm Dying
Gary
_____________________________________________
p.s. http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?Rhoda&1
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