Sinister: I'm a starling

[Stuart Gardiner]

Hmm. A new B&S single came out yesterday, and nobody has mentioned it yet. 
Strange. It's enough to make you wonder if maybe people only review new 
releases because they want to show off about getting it before the release 
date.

Anyway, it's quite good. I still think it's a bizarre choice of single, on 
of the weaker songs on the album; but what do I know? I thought Legal Man 
was rubbish until I saw it done live. As for the B-sides; two songs we know 
already from the Peel Session, both done up with ridiculous amounts of 
production and daft noises. And no, neither of them were produced by Mr 
Horn.


By the way, for those of you who joined since I last got off my arse to post 
about 6 months ago, hello.

Actually, that's not quite right. I'm sitting on my arse to post. Can't 
think of a better metaphor though. Sorry.

My brain has died. I'm living with the parents for a bit unfortunately, and 
it's not the most thrilling place on the planet. Their idea of a good night 
is settling down in front of the telly to watch the Antiques Roadshow. It's 
like purgatory, but without the heat.

Still, only a few weeks to go until I traipse down to London for a few days. 
Any meetups planned yet? Come on London folk, get your arses in gear... (I 
appear to be obsessed with arses today. Must be a Freudian thing, or 
something). Speaking of which, I really should get my own arse in gear and 
find somewhere to stay in London, it's a bit of a long way to come back for 
the night...

I'm looking forward to the London gigs. The thing is, the Astoria is also 
home every Satruday night to the UK's most famous gay night. Can we expect a 
cover version of YMCA?


You see, loads of exciting things have been happening since I posted last. A 
new album. A new DVD. Even, best of all, a couple of posts from Genevieve 
(for recent joinees, search the archives for her posts and admire...)

The album's pretty good really isn't it? Even if I didn't hear it until 
three weeks after it had come out, because I was in Morocco at the time 
(oops, did that just slip in there? How careless of me). I've not figured 
out what all the fuss is with Stay Loose though. I mean, it's not that out 
of the ordinary is it? It's not wonderfully bad, it's not wonderfully good. 
Does making your voice sound like Squeeze really make it revolutionary? 
That's the great thing about music though, everyone's opinion is different. 
Nobody is intrinsically right. And nobody is intrinsically wrong. Apart from 
Coldplay fans, obviously.

For example, I happen to like Roy Walker. A lot. In fact I think it's 
currently my second favourite song on the album, after I'm A Cuckoo, which 
is pretty much nicked wholesale from Thin Lizzy anyway. I even like Roy 
Walker considerably more than Rhoda. Sorry Mark.


Then there was the DVD. Which made me realise that I've waster far too much 
of my life listening to B&S, I had no idea it was that long ago. Still, the 
songs are good, and the videos are good. And as for the bits inbetween...

It seems the main result of watching the DVD is realising quite how much of 
an anorak you are. In fact, get it out again and watch it closely, and you 
can give yourself an anorak score. Give yourself:
+1 point every time you recognise a song being played without looking in the 
sleeve notes.
+10 if you spot where the sleeve notes have got it wrong.
+2 if you know what song's coming up next without consulting the sleeve 
notes.
+2 every time you spot Richard gurning behind the drumkit.
+2 if you recognise a location which appears on film (I know this one gives 
bonus points to Glaswegians, but hey...)
+5 every time you see someone who you can name (not including band members).
+10 if it's Drew Barrymore.
+15 if it's yourself.
and for a bonus, +1 every time you hear a band member say "Y'Know" (that 
should get everyone into triple figures...).
Oh, and -10 if you have ever played the opening bit in slow motion to work 
out where all the pictures are of, because that's just sad.

If you get more than 30 points, you're an A-grade anorak.
If you get more than 50 points, you really should get out more.
If you get more than 100 points, you can't count.


Right, I'm off to lurk for a few months. See you in London...


Big Stu

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