Sinister: Single Fare

[robin stout]

If You Feel This Way Then Clap Your Hands
===========================

Sam wrote:

<<<
Surely SIMO,B is one of the best tracks on the DCW. For me, the highlight of 
the entire album comes at 3:03 on this track, when that synth gambols into 
the break-down like someone putting an axe through a watermain. Wonderful 
stuff.
>>>

Dear Catastrophe Waitress is a great song, whatever slander Carsmile Steve 
has been spreading about it. Step into My Office, on the other hand, is just 
a bit *average*, I'd say. Especially the bit that goes "I want to give you 
the job, a chance of overtime", that sounds more like someone putting an axe 
through Pete Waterman.

But you should still go and buy the single on the strength of the B sides 
alone. Love on the March, which didn't sound that good on the radio, and 
which I might have said bad things about her before, is rather splendid. It 
really goes to show how much difference a good arrangement and recording can 
make. I especially like the harmonies and the fact that it gets really 
angry. All credit to Mr Mick Cooke. Desperation Made a Fool of Me is 
wonderful wonderful wonderful in every way. Gosh, I would buy the single on 
the strength of this song alone.

I think that the main problem with B&S releasing album tracks as singles is 
that the other songs are implicitly less important once they have B side 
status. Lots of people are likely to think, "Oh, well, if Step Into My 
Office is the best song on it, and I've got that already, then I won't 
bother", whereas Step Into My Office is actually the worst song on it and 
the other two songs are ace. In fact, I think I'm going to call this the 
"Desperation Made a Fool of Me Single", because I think it should be.


And I Don't Know, If She Floats or Drowns
===========================

I spent Saturday homeless, as the landlady had got some workmen round to put 
double glazing in my bedroom and they stank the rest of the house out with 
Kiss FM. As I crossed the bridge I noticed a goth floating down the river. A 
lot of people were standing and pointing and eating crisps. It seemed that, 
while the English were winning the rugby, the Welsh were enjoying a more 
traditional form of entertainment. If she survives she's a witch, if she 
doesn't she's a goth. It works out well either way.

I had a secret hope that when the girl was rescued the water would reveal 
that underneath her funereal robes she was wearing pink spandex, but, as 
might be expected, there was only layer upon layer of infinitely black 
underwear, woven from spiders' webs and dyed with bats' blood.


You Don't Have to Wear that Dress Tonight
===========================

I was very sad that Roxanne was voted off Pop Idol, because I thought she 
was really good. It seems you need to have a weight problem or a stutter to 
win a talent show these days. At least Suzanne is still in. Gosh, I love 
Suzanne. Almost as much as I love Martine McCutcheon. I really want to go 
and see 'Love Actually', even though I heard it's rubbish, simply for the 
lovely Martine. I wonder if anyone has seen it. I hope she says "Lumme" or 
"Lord love a duck" or something of that sort; it would make my day.

xxx

R

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