Sinister: If you find yourself caught in Brighton and Hove (or Hong Kong)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

Hi sinister,

Greetings from Hong Kong.  Yes, a long distance sinister love affair had 
proved too much to bear and I ended up moving all the way to Hong Kong to 
live with my beloved.

Haha Not really.  Got you going though!

I actually am in Hong Kong at the moment though, no kidding.  Family 
business and all that.  Hong Kong is the land of rude English names for 
places e.g. a new housing estate being advertised that is called "NOBLAND".  
Actually that's the only rude one I saw so far.  Apart from "Mong Kok".


Dear Catastrophe Waitress
=================
I don't think I'm going to make myself popular or unpopular here, and say 
that I think DICKWANK is going to be fantastic

I still believe that the following tracks on the album are going to be 
SUPERB... this is how I GUESS these tracks are going to be like - it's not 
as if I've HEARD IT ALREADY and all - I mean, it's not been released yet.


If She Wants Me - I'm guessing that if you liked "Big John Shaft" you'll 
like this one, and listening to it is going to make you feel content with 
the world.

Wrapped up in Books - I think I'm gonna check check checkcheckcheck check 
check check out its melody.

Lord Anthony - I think the pint glass noises that was the best bit of the 
bootleg recording will be gone, but the song is still going to be good.
If you find yourself caught in love - I am guessing that this is going to be 
one of my favourite songs ever.  Of course I already KNOW this one coz it 
was on the peel session the other time.

I'm a cuckoo - This I think is going to be a THIN LIZZY tribute song, and 
sound a bit like The Boys Are Back In Town, which is good in my books.

Piazza, New York Catcher - I think this song is going to be a nice little 
song with just Stuart singing over an acoustic guitar like a folk singer.  
And I'm going to have no clue about the lyrics because I'll know nothing 
about baseball and I'm guessing this song has some baseball references in 
it.


THIN LIZZY-OH
=========
I think, rather than being just for a sake of a rhyme, this is in fact a 
reference to Thin Lizzy's version of "Whiskey in the Jar" in which, the 
lyrics go...

Whack for my daddy-oh
whack for my daddy-oh
There's whiskey in the jar-ro*

... with I'm a cuckoo being (I am guessing to be) a Thin Lizzy tribute and 
all.

It could have been a METALLICA tribute, of course, as METALLICA have also 
done a version of that song with the same daddy-oh jar-ro trick.  But then 
I'm a cuckoo will have sounded like METALLICA, and thus shit.  And the 
lyrics would probably go

I'd rather be in Cai-ro
Listening to Metalli-ca-ro

but it isn't.  Perhaps the reference was a little too subtle this time for 
some.


If how I guess the album is going to be is correct, it's almost going to be 
like B&S have matured and won't be spending the whole time singing about 
having being odd in school and having no friends or having wet dreams 
anymore, but sometimes sing about having loved and hurt and a being better 
person for it, or choking on cornflakes.  And I am going to like it.


TIGERMILKING
=========
I was going to use...

"FIND OUT IF KEN CHU IS SINGLE"

...as the advert for Tigermilking, which would have been a killer!  However 
since I doubt I can make it this time (I would have JUST got back from Hong 
Kong and all) I might cause a mass chaos when people turn up and my 
availability is still unknown.

Dafyd, who did a better job at advertisting Tigermilking anyway (btw 
Tigermilking REALLY IS highly recommended despite the probable lack of my 
DJing skills this time) also said...
>>the night is the same day England play Turkey at football and that kicks 
>>off at 6 so if anyone wants to meet us at the Trotwood for post 
>>tigermilking footie action then arrive at 6!<<

I guess he meant PRE-tigermilking footie action, however, the idea of 
POST-TIGERMILKING FOOTIE actually sounds great.  We can bring a football and 
play outside the Betsey at 2 in the morning - we can be like Ronaldo in the 
Nike adverts!

Ooo ooo ooo ahh ooo ahh eee ahhh oooo ... mas que nada. etc.(which 
incidentally sounds like the latin instrumental version of I don't want to 
play football)


Football
=====
Speaking of football the cable TV in Hong Kong is fantastic - it's like the 
show premiership football live and stuff, and if you missed it you can watch 
the repeats.  In fact, that's pretty much all they show when there's no live 
football on, I've watched Charlton v Liverpool 3 times now, what a 
hat-trick.

AND, ESPN (channel 7 on cable) have the PUNNIEST sports news program in the 
world.  They even made RUDE puns the other day, paulo di canio slapped 
Lisbie on the bum, and the presenter later wondered if Paulo di canio's 
skills is going to RUB OFF to the other players, and the other presenter 
said .. no BUTTS about it.  BOOM BOOM PTISH TWANG BONG.

Oh yes and they show bowling.


Yours Ooh get me i'm so controversal-ly.
Ken x
* I don't really know if that's EXACTLY how the lyrics went - I never 
understood it - what's so whack about getting free whiskey?  Did they 
actually mean to say "DOPE for my daddy-oh"?  "SICK for my daddy-oh"? - It 
took me ages too to work out all these sk8r talk...  Or did they mean 
they're getting his dad some drugs to go with the booze?  Or if they meant 
if his dad had drunk all that whiskey he'd be whacked?  Somebody enlighten 
me please.

P.S.: I hope the B&S DVD is going to work on the playstation 2, with 
interactive games and all.  Mmm maybe B&S SMACKDOWN - a bit like that 
Wu-Tang Clan kung fu game.  Killah Belle vs Murdoch Man, Ol' Dirty Bob.

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