Sinister: as a hobby it's sad

[Joanne Hill]

Hello Sinister lovelies,

Recently I've been thinking about my place in Sinister, why I'm here, what 
my relevancy is to the list and what it means to me, whether I'm valid here 
or should I even be here. I joined - coming to up 12 months ago - because I 
was feeling a little isolated where I was, because I was enjoying the 
novelty of 24 hr net access for the first time, and cause it seemed like a 
cool thing, this Belle and Seb community. But recently I'd been thinking 
about how much of a B&S fan I am/was, when I joined up. I thought, why 
should I be here? I don't know nearly as much about B&S, or love them as 
much, as many other people. With all this talk of middle kids and old 
people, I still felt new, like i'd just joined. A bit scared, like. I only 
got IYFS this year. (Yes, slapped wrist)

But, for the first time, I bought a B&S CD brand new on the day it came out. 
I unwrapped it and listened to it on the bus from Coventry to uni, a bumpy 
journey trying to read the sleeve notes and giving up cos I was too 
engrossed in the songs. I'm still getting used to it. I won't talk about 
what i think of it - I think my opinion has been coloured by reading too 
much on Sinister and Bowlie about what others think.

And I've been able, in lumping the two together, to think that there is 
something of meaning added to me and my life by being involved in these 
things - away from the computer feeling a sense of detachment but also of 
belonging, something great that I know about that people I meet, don't. I'm 
not entirely sure what it is I'm trying to say. B&S have been a constant 
*thing* when nothing else has seemed constant.

On Thursday i went to the Colloseum in Coventry, Offbeat night, I was DJing, 
but before that I was sat talking to some Offbeat people about B&S, having a 
discussion of the new album, Sarah and Isobel and their songs on the albums. 
And it struck me that I *do* know a lot about the band - yes much of it I've 
learnt from being here the last year, but if this is a band that i know and 
am willing to learn about, I must be some sort of fan, and must have some 
sort of claim to being here.

I played LLPJ that night. People danced. I sang and later lost my voice cos 
I had fresher's flu.

I found that the best time to read posts is 2am, they just seem to have much 
more of a life affirming, poetic feel to them then. I can go - yes. 
Especially this last week. I can't name names...I've kept some of 
them....whoever has posted this week knows who they are.

This isn't meant to be some sort of, 'Sinister, you're great!' post. Just a, 
this is what I've been thinking about lately.

Last month I went to Sheffield Offbeat, and met some cute little 
Sinisterettes. I hope they are doing well wherever they are. The train thru 
the Peaks was lovely and well worth the many changes. It's almost one whole 
tunnel all the way from Dore to Stockport. Then a quick glimpse of a hill, 
dark brown and craggy, all shiny and untouched, sweeping by. Anyway that was 
then, and now I'm in Warwick again, I have a view of trees from my window, 
and crisp dry fallen leaves.

Sorry I cant be more poetic and life affirming myself,

Joanne

While I wrote this I listened to: Low 'Trust' and Yeah Yeah Yeah 'Maps'

_________________________________________________________________
Find a cheaper internet access deal - choose one to suit you. 
http://www.msn.co.uk/internetaccess

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+