Sinister: Ich bin gl�cklich. Du bist dick.

[robin stout]

Hullo,

Uff, I'm ill. I've a red nose and trembling fingers. I spent the whole day 
indoors eating soup, and even doing that with difficulty on account of my 
shuddering hands and my three jumpers.

*sniff*

Anyway.. at the weekend I was in GLASGOW!! where I saw YOU!! and YOU!! and, 
oh yes, YOU!! It was ace. The Aislers Set/Lucksmiths gig was one of the best 
of my whole life. The Aislers are such an amazing live band. And, oh, there 
was dancing, and lots of lovely people. Yes, it was tremendous. Big props to 
the Winchester Club.

I spent most of my time with dashing Patrick, delectable Lucy and dishy Nal, 
all of this parish, and met various other people you might know as well, and 
no doubt ignored a fair few more. On Friday I was in Glasgow by myself and 
spent most of my time stalking strangers just to see where they would go, a 
sport that's even more fun than it sounds. I followed one of them all the 
way on and off the underground and ended up getting completely lost. I ended 
up in a library where lots of old people were stalking around behind the 
bookshelves, all with their eyes on the same few chairs. They'd look through 
the gaps between the books, their carrier bags would rustle, then they'd see 
someone fold up their newspaper and all at the same time they'd leap from 
their hiding places and grapple each other for the seats. I read a History 
of Glasgow for a while, but it was heavy and wasn't much fun standing up.

On Sunday we went to the West End and Patrick bought an elephant on wheels, 
which we named Samuel. We decided to write a song about him. I wrote this:


Samuel, oh Samuel
Although you smell like dog biscuits
And your wheels squeak and clunk
I still love you
Your big ears and your tiny trunk

*tuba solo*

Solomon, oh Solomon
Although I've seen all your tricks before
And I know you've got something up your sleeve
I still love you
When you hold the queen of hearts in front of me

*tambourine solo*

Samuel, oh Samuel
I know you hate to be pushed around
And I know you don't think I should
But I love you
And this bath I'm giving you is for your own good


I don't think there's much of a market for songs about fluffy animals on 
wheels, though. I mean, who'd want to listen to a song about that? That's 
why I put the bit in about the magician, see? Everyone loves magicians!

It's not all bad being ill. It means I've been able to watch Fans Only from 
front to back and over again. I tried to buy it from my local independent 
record shop, but they didn't have any because they were too expensive. They 
sent me over the road to MVC instead. I always feel guilty for not buying 
from independent record shops. I actually bought Dear Catastrophe Waitress 
from Tesco, and the guilt still attacks me from time to time like a shifty 
dog. I suggested to them that they buy up all of MVC's copies and sell them 
for 50p more. They seemed to think it was a good idea, so maybe they will.

Fans Only is brilliant. I don't know why, but I had the feeling it would be 
rubbish, but it's not. It's tremendous. Action packed!! There are lots of 
great moments on it: b+s on a Brazillian chat show, Stevie singing 
Rhinestone Cowboy at Bowlie, Stuart forgetting the words to every song he 
sings, and Isobel looking absolutely lovely. I'd actually forgotten she was 
so pretty.

Loads of songs make appearances, including one or two you might not have 
heard of before. I think "Disability Chic" and "Invisible" must be some of 
the instrumentals, and "Wake Her Up", mentioned once long ago, turns out to 
be a Stuart David song with funny noises attached. It's all very exciting. 
You should all buy it and watch it and write stuff about it, yo. Peter 
Miller should buy it so that he stops listening to his "Lead Zepp" DVD, with 
their "riffs" and "electric guitars", whatever those are.

On the way home, sorry to go on a bit by the way, on the way home I had a go 
at figuring out the lyrics to the long version of Scooby Driver. I love this 
song and I wish they'd release the full version cos it rocks. If you haven't 
heard it, you should try to get hold of the version they played on KCRW a 
couple of months ago. Here's my attempt at the lyrics (any help with the bit 
about the bedroom door would be welcome):

===

I'm coming over in the wrong direction
I only want to be the centre of your attention
For long enough to show you I'm worth the trouble that you take

I want to see the way that you portray
A boy who maybe doesn't have to much to say
And you can draw your own conclusions
But you'll find I'm not a fake

You can turn away from me
But there's nothing that'll keep me here you know
And you'll never be the city guy
Any more than I'll be hosting the Scooby Show

+++

I need protection
There's a lot of ugly stuff that's going on
I want to live my life inside a car that's movin' fast
I want to see the way that you portray
A boy who's going to try to change his life today

+++

Everybody's clearly out to get me
I want to [...] my bedroom door
And close my eyes and listen to the music
Really makes you sore
And if you turn away from me
I will put you on my list of folk to hate
I will write it in my diary
And I will take revenge at a later date

===

Au revoir, mes petits fours!

Robin x

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